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Thread: Listen up!

  1. #1
    Senior Member aerotrooper's Avatar
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    Listen up!

    So this forum has recently changed. There have been some new arrivals, including myself. Maybe a good way to rekindle things is to re-introduce ourselves.
    I'll start.

    I'm an open book.
    I'm not sure I'll ever check this site again.
    I'm perpetually suicidal...It's not an oxymoron.
    And I have an uncommon quality to experience life to a degree and with a satisfaction that I think few will ever know.
    It's winter and it's been a long time since that side of me came around.

    I have little confidence that this thread will continue.

  2. #2
    From Outta Space! Cozmo D's Avatar
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    I'm Coz.
    I'm black.
    I'm 45.
    I'm the only child of an unwed mother who has only met his father once.
    I'm considered by many to be an Old School Electro and Hip-Hop pioneer.
    I'm considered by many to be a condescending old pervert who's too full of himself.
    I'm an eternal optomist as well as an unapologetic realist, and just crazy enough to believe that those are NOT contradictory terms.
    I am a follower of Christ and am intimate with God, to the point that I regularly dismiss the Bible and all religion.
    I've been with the same woman faithfully for nearly 26 years, and I'm a BOOTAY hound.
    I've got a 21 year old son and a 15 year old son, and I still hold memories of being in the womb.
    My family is my life, my music is my life, my only fear of my next life is losing this one.
    I probably know less about the music of Pm Dawn than anyone else here.
    I co-produced the first PM Dawn record.
    Alright
    Tap the lightpole and we'll be jammin all night
    And ain't nobody callin' the cops
    'Cause everybody's here freakin', if they're older they're doin the rock
    And every block from all around
    Comes runnin' to the park when they hear the sound
    And soon the word's spreadin' through our part of town
    "Yo, 40 Park y'all, Jam-On's gettin down"
    Yeah...

    Jam-On Productions:Website Forum

  3. #3
    I ain't your sucka baby.. The_Kay_Dee's Avatar
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    I AM THE KAY DEE.
    I am 28
    I am NOT black! I am "Walnut Tan".
    I am in medical school and should be finishing up around April 1st
    I am a single parent. NO that doesn't mean I have a "Baby Mama" and I keep my kid on weekends. I have SOLE legal custody of my son.
    I am also confused alot.
    I have a knack for getting into strange violent situations. (NOT on purpose.)
    I am a pervert and a bootay hound.
    I used to make porn.
    I run for president every 4 years. (I've gotten 16 votes! only a few million to go....)
    I will someday soon be a pilot and fly a FLIGHT FOR LIFE Helicopter. (Reason for medical school.)
    I am considered by the people at my school to be the pioneer of "Walking my ass off to get to school."
    I love the world.
    I can't really remember anything else about myself right now as I haven't been to sleep since wednesday afternoon. (School and work_
    Oh yeah, I am a student instructor at my school and I won "The most outstanding student of the year" award.
    I........... am going home to sleep.
    A man is where he loves, not where he lives....

  4. #4
    king of useless info syxxpm's Avatar
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    i am syxx

    my real name is carl

    i grew up and athiest(now bordering on spirtualist) interracial chubby chasing homosexual...

    i am fairly reclusive (not big on travel or long car trips)...very much a homebody with a lot of hobbies...

    1.video games(playing)
    2.music (listening)
    3.movies (watching)
    4.pro wrestling(watching)
    5.poetry (reading and writing)
    6. various forms of collecting....

    i was never a good school student ..i took myself way to seriously had no social skills whatsoever when i was much younger... and tried to kill myself on numerous occasions before i was 13....

    then when i turned 16 everything somehow seemed and felt better and ive had no overmelodramatic(and at times seemingly self induced) episodes since....

    had one friend in highschool....i still speak and hang out with him occassionally....(we have only one or two things in common but we got through a lot together)...

    work at a job where im considered one of the be all end all go to guys (does wonder for my ego)..i also think ive grown as a worker too!....

    i work the otc/1hourphoto/digital departments.in a walgreens in teaneck nj...

    currently my life is going fairly well....once you realize a lot of worse things happen in the world like starving thirdworld countries religious wars and people getting raped mutilated and murdered just for the hell of it you seem to realize your in a much better position than you ever thought you were in in the first place and the fiddle solos get a hell ot a lot shorter....


    on and the guy who murdered my friend died of diabetes complications and the baby they had is being raised by her (said deceased)mother.....

    i am also not done with this post as this is a work in progress....i will purge more later......
    the vibe says syxx so let it be syxx......

  5. #5
    Weird Boston guy Harmeister's Avatar
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    I'm Harmeister, but you can call me just Harm
    I'm very white with red hair
    I'm 29 for a few months still
    I'm the oldest of three children from my mom and five from my dad (three marriages for him, only one marriage for my mom)
    I'm simply a software engineer currently working on the ColdFusion team at Macromedia
    I've been happily married for almost eight years now and have three wonderful children.

    there we go, just right. keep walking...

  6. #6
    Senior Member Etherspin's Avatar
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    Im Tim ,
    23 , from australia, went to england in 2002, returned 2004 september
    still trying to make sure i have no remnants of my first relationship.. when i went to england and got trapped there for a while by an abusive GF.. took my money,passports etc and had me locked in a room when i wasnt at work.
    I work with intellectually disabled people in their homes but would like to do music on the side and thus am saving my pennys for some equipment
    Im also a 6ft white guy trying to get in good shape to build up my confidence
    this is one of the few sites i regularly check and i love the people here
    got one or two high school friends around but they arent on the same wavelength as me at all...

    life is going pretty well.. got a fresh start here in oz.. just need to get more hours at work so im getting decent $$$ then things will all be in order !!
    i was brought up catholic.. which i remain but with a belief that life is altered around what metaphysical experiences an individual needs to progress.. for some this is an athiestic existence, some may see ghosts, attain the buddhist form of enlightenment , see an angel, be murdered !! it just depends!!
    "One day the absurdity of the almost universal human belief in the slavery of other animals will be palpable. We shall then have discovered our souls and become worthier of sharing this planet with them."
    ~Martin Luther King Jr.

  7. #7
    Intelligent Posts :11
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    you all realize that this is in Leisure World right?
    *looks around and gives time for the right thing to be done while sporting an evil grin*

  8. #8
    From Outta Space! Cozmo D's Avatar
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    It belongs here Chief, do your dirt.
    Alright
    Tap the lightpole and we'll be jammin all night
    And ain't nobody callin' the cops
    'Cause everybody's here freakin', if they're older they're doin the rock
    And every block from all around
    Comes runnin' to the park when they hear the sound
    And soon the word's spreadin' through our part of town
    "Yo, 40 Park y'all, Jam-On's gettin down"
    Yeah...

    Jam-On Productions:Website Forum

  9. #9
    Custom User Title justafan's Avatar
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    I guess it's my turn...

    I am 24 and my name is Scott.
    I am a middle child and that should explain it, or some of it at least.
    I am hard on myself and hopelessly hard on other people(if they are stupid) and I am a pessimistic realist, although I just call myself a realist. (yes Coz, the opposite is contradictory... just playin', I really like hearing those two things together - even though I don't see things that way)
    I was always good in sports - baseball, basketball, etc, whoopty-doo... now I am lazy and I play pool.
    I don't have a job and I plan on never having one, don't ask me how.
    I am in school, 7th year, wasting time, procrastinating.
    I am really into myself, can't you tell?
    I was a horrible student in gradeschool, then I had good grades in 7th and 8th grade. Then I had bad grades in HS, then I had nearly perfect grades in college. That is the reason that I refuse to go to grad school, I am not letting the pattern win out.
    I am a manic-depressant that hates head doctors and taking crazy pills, so I don't anymore.
    I need a girl to ground me, but something tells me I would screw it up.
    Alright, I am a pessimistic realist, so sue me.
    I am horrible meeting people and overall I have bad people skills, I have bad anxiety around people too. But once I get to know someone things go much more smoothly.

    I also have to agree with aero when he said:

    "I'm perpetually suicidal...It's not an oxymoron.
    And I have an uncommon quality to experience life to a degree and with a satisfaction that I think few will ever know."

    I feel like that too, sometimes.

    I love these threads, in some sense it is like the difference between a documentary and a hollywood movie, these being the documentaries of the analogy. I can't get enough of documentaries and hollywood movies more often than not bore me intellectually.

    That is all.
    fullamyself, sickamyself, truetamyself

    I will always be myself - through the good times and the bad.

  10. #10
    The one and only
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    ok kool...my name is Be
    aside from being my name ..it is also my occupation
    i've been 27 for 8 years now
    i am black..sometimes....i guess...my dad was dominican...and my grandmom on my mom's side was one thousand % wahshitah indian....grand dad was black...but instead of splainin nall that to people i just use my skin color...i simply say i'm black... sometimes ...i guess
    i am the oldest of 6 boys...1 of which is my father's best friend's son...and 2 of my brothers are also simultaniously my cousin.....thru my entire teenage experience i had the distinct feeling that my mom wanted to and in all probabillity has had sex with a good number of my friends....yes my mother was a whore but i've since come to tearms with that because so am i....she is affectionately nicknamed mary magdalene

    the whole experience made me disstrust women....inparticularly it made me loathe black women
    i've only been friends with 2 black women my whole life...neither of which are my mom
    A) my friend tisha who i've known since i was 12...connection...she was also extreemly overweight and concidered herself loathsome...and couldn't possibly have fucked my mom
    B)my friend evette...coz's wife because she's so inately sweet and completly dissarming that she trancends cataglory...and simpy goes into my Coz file..if i was blind i probably wouldn't have even noticed her ethnicity

    when i was 7..my baby brother was murdered by a psychotic border my mom took in...from that day on when i hear "GOD BLESS THE CHILD" or Billie noliday i cry uncontrolably...i was the oldest and i felt responsible...i still do to some conciderable degree....i had to talk my mother out of killing herself so to this day when shit is going bad with her...she tells me that she's only alive because i begged her to be here...and somehow that makes her my resposibility the psychotic part is that i believe her 75% of the time while simutaneously knowing it's bullshit...

    For all those that know the track untitled....yes ...it is the same woman that used to say to me....i hate you so much...you're nothing to me...i wish you never were...her exact and favorite quote was the original title to untitled
    "You aren't worth the fuck it took to make you

    5 years ago i wouldn't have even been able toexplain any of this or even accept any of it scientificly if i hadn't spent a fortune on therapy

    oh yeah...i'm Bi-polar...and i've been in a deep DEEP low swing for about 4 years now so my deppression prevents me from knowing if i'm optimistic or pessimistic....

    i simply ....do not know



    THE POWER OF NOW......ROCK ROCK ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    one of these days...i'll be right with all of this
    Last edited by Be; 02-18-2005 at 11:58 PM.
    blah... blah... blah...the universe.... what color underwear do you have on.....red i hope
    because that makes me warm....warm like brand nu video porn


    PornyBe
    of
    the astral planers

  11. #11
    waiting for Spring Louis85's Avatar
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    Damn, I have to follow Be!?

    I am Louis (Sean is my first name)...
    I am 37, still single, Black and proud
    I was raised in a single parent household that included a grandmother who is still very fiesty
    I graduated from high school (vice president of my class) and college with honors
    I have an MBA that sits in my underwear drawer(and that's the best use of it)
    I recently met my father for the first time ever and it still has me in a daze
    I have many many hobbies and play several sports, hoops more than any other
    I love the outdoor stuff: camping, whitewater rafting, hiking (only a little)
    I have many many relatives most of which don't care for me
    I never take myself seriously
    I gamble WAAAYYYYY too much
    I've read everything from my 3 favorite authors: Harris, Coupland, & McMillan
    I live to hang out with my younger cousins. without them life would be boring as hell
    And nothing ever makes sense to me the first time I hear it because I'm very BAD at paying attention
    I love the summer months!

  12. #12
    Senior Member aerotrooper's Avatar
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    Thanks everyone!

    You've given me insight into personalities and other live's that I really, really needed. Perhaps ya'll knew that and that is why you were so kind to respond so whole heartedly...Thank you.
    Since everyone was so forthcoming, I'll add a bit more to my description.

    First, I'll list things I share with the things just put forth. I believe Jesus is a true saviour, I believe there is some kind of metaphysical sea which we must swim. I don't have a job. I am an excellent worker. I remember being in the hospital just after birth and in one of those plastic containers... I remember, warmth and peace. Sterile atmosphere but the clean and soft blanket. I felt entirely alone but it was as if I knew nothing else so I was just glowing... I still wonder if this was some kind of grace. life force or drugs that they injected into my mother during childbirth flooding me.

    More practically...
    I realized I was gay when I was 5... I believe it can stem from early development naturally or from birth itself. I came out when I was 19.
    I'm 31 years old.
    I'm white.... Swiss/Sweedish/Polish/German/Irish/English.
    I studied advertising after highschool, never worked in the field. I ditched A successful cooperate career to work outdoors operating the best rollercoaster ever built. MillenniumForce (Beautiful, Blue, Fast-93MPH and touching the clouds at 31 stories tall) It was the greatest part of my life so far. wait a minute I can't stop... (80degree drop situated on the shore over looking Lake erie, very back and left seat is the best. If you let go relax completely while watching the sky or a light from a boat in the distance during the complete freefall. It's emotionally, physically and spiritually cleansing.) Really.

    I have this thing about me that wants to satisfy everyone and it just wont die.
    I drive. I type. I have access to my dream life. The waking world seems to pull from me and I often feel decieved or victimized.
    I wake every morning with a VERY strong death wish.
    I've allways been more existentially, including spiritually, centered... more than physical or sexually oriented.
    I don't have much in the way of the practical I guess.
    I'm the youngest, I have two older brothers.
    I could list a long ugly tale of misfortune but I kinda already did that elswhere on this site.

    I'm really glad to meet all of you.

  13. #13
    waiting for Spring Louis85's Avatar
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    YES IT IS! (Everything you said about MF...although the coaster geeks keep trying to give the number one coaster steel coaster crown to Superman: Ride of Steel...bastards!)
    I love the summer months!

  14. #14
    From Outta Space! Cozmo D's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aerotrooper
    I felt entirely alone but it was as if I knew nothing else so I was just glowing...
    YES!!! That is the closest description that I have ever heard from anyone. the best way to describe what I remember is of being ONE, and that One was ALL! It was the most comfortable and secure feeling of my life and I spent most of my childhood trying to get that feeling back when I went to sleep. I believe that is why I can still remember it, and why to this day absolute Heaven to me is a totally quiet, totally dark room to sleep in.
    Alright
    Tap the lightpole and we'll be jammin all night
    And ain't nobody callin' the cops
    'Cause everybody's here freakin', if they're older they're doin the rock
    And every block from all around
    Comes runnin' to the park when they hear the sound
    And soon the word's spreadin' through our part of town
    "Yo, 40 Park y'all, Jam-On's gettin down"
    Yeah...

    Jam-On Productions:Website Forum

  15. #15
    Senior Member aerotrooper's Avatar
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    Letting go!

    Ahhh, someone here know's MF can be an acronym for somthing else. Superman:Ride of steel, New England right? That coaster is junk. I only have had one ride on it but I don't care.
    It's sub par at best.

    Cozymandias: Yep, thats it... I just never thought of it that way. No ego yet getting in the way of the central source. it's almost uncomprehensible that we could be so at one with everything yet remain entirely ourselves all at once and all so effortlesslly.

    I've read that personality is essentially the compromise of the ego against the demands of the herd. Our initial mode's of survival so many of us adopt and accept really are futile in the end aren't they...Our culture accepts this as the way of the world but I'm not sure it has to be this way. In the end though I think the dying realise this futility and I bet that accounts for alot of the peace we can see in the dying. Anyway,
    Neat.

  16. #16
    The one and only
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    oh yeah...i left out 1 lil tee hee....my junior high school class voted me "Least likely to be on MTV...i believe that was part of my motivation...i guess i was a lil napoleon dynamite-ish
    blah... blah... blah...the universe.... what color underwear do you have on.....red i hope
    because that makes me warm....warm like brand nu video porn


    PornyBe
    of
    the astral planers

  17. #17
    Custom User Title justafan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aerotrooper
    In the end though I think the dying realise this futility and I bet that accounts for alot of the peace we can see in the dying.
    what if the end was in the middle(although not necesarily related to a near death experience)? Is it the peace we are after to begin with? If so then can we screw it up if we get it too early?

    Like I said, I love these threads......
    fullamyself, sickamyself, truetamyself

    I will always be myself - through the good times and the bad.

  18. #18
    pm dawn fam til infinity Hero1's Avatar
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    its amazing how many people wanna kill themselves around here
    Last edited by Hero1; 02-19-2005 at 06:08 AM.
    I've got amnesia.. I can't remember..

  19. #19
    king of useless info syxxpm's Avatar
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    hey it was all the rage in the nineties popularized by such chic bands as nirvana ....te hehe
    the vibe says syxx so let it be syxx......

  20. #20
    Member PsychoMan's Avatar
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    I might as well join in.

    I am PsychoMan. I gave myself that name in grade 9 after my first real skateboard, the "Vision Psycho Stick".
    I don't post much, but I lurk often.
    I am about as white as they come. Scandinavian/European background.
    I have been listening to PM Dawn ever since I accidentally listened to my sister's copy of The Utopian Experience on cassette when it came out.
    I have two parents, four sisters, two nieces and two nephews.
    I have lived in Ontario, Canada my whole life.
    I am a devout atheist. I belive in evolution. I feel at peace with the universe.
    I have two cars: A 1991 Russian Lada Signet, and a 2004 Toyota Prius Hybrid.
    I am straight. I am 14 months into my first relationship, and I am happy. I met my girfriend on LavaLife.
    Nothing bad has ever happened to me. My childhood was about as good as it gets.
    I am 28 now.
    I have an Honours degree in Pure Mathematics and Computer Science.
    I am a software developer for a successful broadcast graphics software company. I wrote their core 2D graphics rendering engine.
    I play the clarinet... though not very well.

    My favourite band is PM Dawn. My PM Dawn CD collection is only matched in size by my "Weird Al" Yankovic CD collection. I don't know what that says about me.

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