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Thread: *raises mug* "TOO BILL BRASKY"

  1. #1
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    "Bill Brasky is the father of every kid in this town!"

    "Bill Brasky once showed me a video of him making love to my wife, and it was
    the most beautiful thing I ever saw!"

    "One time I was with Brasky in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live
    deer. Brasky goes up to the deer and says, 'I'm Bill Brasky! SAY IT!' Then he
    manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'Billbrasky' ...
    It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!'"

    "He'd eat a homeless person if you dared him!"

    "His poop is used as currency in Argentina."

    "He sweats Gatorade"

    "He once breast-fed a flamingo back to health."

    "He hated Mexicans! And he was half Mexican! .......And he hated irony!"

    "I once saw him scissor kick Angela Landsbury."

    "He sheds his skin once a year."

    "He makes brooms somewhere in Georgia."

    "He did 3 tours in 'Nam...... I was in Corpus Christi on business a month ago.
    I had this eight foot tall Asian waiter, which made me curious. I asked him his
    name. Sure enough it's Ho Tran Brasky!"

    "I once saw him eat a whole live chicken."

    "His favorite movie is 'One on One' with Robby Benson."

    "He sleeps eight hours a night! ........ well, he was pretty normal when it
    came to that."

    "Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky took me out to go get a drink with
    him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally Brasky takes me
    to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half and
    sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered
    a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Brasky yelled over
    the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found em!'"

    "Bill Brasky had a four day heart attack...a day for each chamber. At the
    autopsy, they said his heart looked like a basketball filled with riccotta
    cheese."

    "He once punched a hole in a cow just to see who was coming up the road."

    "He did all the makeup on the 'Planet of the Apes' movie."

    "He grew a 3rd arm and kept it in a vault."

    "Brasky drank a full glass of liquid LSD with his eggs. Then he slept for 8
    months straight. When he woke he rubbed his eyes and said, 'All in all, I
    prefer gin.'"

    "They say Gene Roddenbery got the idea for Star Trek from listening to Brasky
    talk in his sleep."

    "He once inhaled a seagull."

    "The Pope told him it was ok to have a mistress."

    "It was the sight of Brasky's naked body that drove Brian Wilson insane."

    "He once had sex with a cigarette machine."

    "He killed Wolfman Jack with a trident."

    "He uses the Shroud of Turin as a golf towel."

    "He once ate the Bible while water skiing."

    "He sired a baseball team.. an orchestra if you count the bastards!"

    "You know, he would shoot whiskey into his neck with a syringe!"

    "He has dandruff the size of mice!"

    "He jogged with a fridge on his back!"

    "Bill Brasky was a 10 foot monster who slept with all our wives! And punched us
    all in the face! And we loved him for it!"

    "He's a ten foot tall beastman who showers in vodka and feeds his baby shrimp
    scampi."

    "He orchestrated the merger between Unicef and Smith & Wessen."

    "He went public with his own buttocks and made $7 million."

    "Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky went hunting? Brasky decides he's
    going to hunt down all four of the Banana Splits. He stalks and kills every one
    of them with a machette. They all begged for their lives...except Fleagle."

    "We once had a bachelor party for Brasky. He ate the entire cake before we
    could tell him there was a stripper in it."

    "Brasky once hosted the Grammys and gave every award to Corey Hart."

    "He has a toenail on the end of his penis."

    "Brasky once got his wife pregnant and gave birth to a delicious 16 ounce
    steak. The after birth was sauteed mushrooms."

    "Brasky's family crest is a picture of a baracudda eating Neil Armstrong."

    "Brasky ranked 18th in the AP College Football Pool."

    "Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky was in a production of, 'The King &
    I?' On opening night, Brasky chloroforms the entire cast and slowly eats them
    in front of the audience for two hours. The production got pretty good
    reviews."

    "He breastfeeds John Madden."

    "Brasky named the group Sha-Na-Na. They did NOT want to be called that."

    "If you drop a phonograph needle on Brasky's nipple, it plays the Beach Boys'
    'Pet Sounds.'"

    "Brasky directed that commercial where the women play basketball in high
    heels."

    "All the 'Yes' album covers are Brasky family photos."

    "He wears a live rattlesnake as a condom."

    "Did I ever tell you about the time he taught his son how to drive? He did it
    by entering him in the Indy 500. The kid wrecked and died. Brasky said it
    would've happened sometime."

    "Brasky's semen can form into a liquid human - like the guy from 'Terminator
    2'"

    "He thinks then iron man is gay."

    "He framed Roger Rabbit."

    "The character of Johnny Appleseed was based on Brasky - except for the apple
    tree planting and not raping men."

    "He gave a handjob to a manta ray."

  2. #2
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    He onced challenged Secretariat to a race. When he lost the race by a nose, Brasky ate the horse.

    Bill Brasky arm wrestled and beat every man, woman and child in Malasia.

    Did I ever tell you about the time Bill Brasky tied me to a chair and made me watch him have sex with my wife?......I hated Bill Brasky, but i respected him.

    Once, I saw Bill Brasky pistol-whip his own mother! I asked him why he did it, and he shot me!


    Bill Brasky once donkey punched a blue whale.

    Bill Brasky construced a bong out of his Noble prize and smoked out the entire cast of Mr. Belvidere. He's got pictures!

    Bill Brasky once gave my son a pair of braces with nothing but a stapler and a bicycle spoke.

    Bill brasky breast feed himself as a baby.

  3. #3
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    Bill Brasky could bench press a tank.

    The Devil sold his soul to Bill Brasky.

    I once saw Bill Brasky get in a fist fight with Mike Ditka and the Chicago Bears

  4. #4
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    Bill Brasky invented the eyebrow.

    Bill Brasky sells crack for Board Plus.

    Bill Brasky once arm-wrestled Chairman Mao.

    Bill Brasky eats all of his meals with sporks.

    Bill Brasky gathers nuts when the weather turns colder.

    Bill Brasky uses his forehead as a flyswatter.

    Bill Brasky has successfully faked his own death 17 times.

    Jammy Jam was a tribute to Bill Brasky.

    Brasky eats corndogs by the dozen, including the sticks.

    Bill Brasky brushes his teeth with a juniper branch attached to a Carnot engine.

    Goro from Mortal Kombat was modeled after Brasky's birthmark.

    Bill Brasky isn't tall. I mean, not like John Stamos tall.

    Bill Brasky ran a flashy campaign and forced his way into the unsuspecting student government of James K. Polk Middle School.

    Brasky was the lead programmer for Dig Dug.

    One year, for Halloween, Brasky rounded up all the squirrels in the neighborhood, dressed them up like Louie Anderson, and trained them to run his haunted House.

    The beginning of the Real Season is determined the first weekend in November, when Bill Brasky emerges and may or may not be frightened by his shadow.

    Bill Brasky is retarded. And that makes his accomplishments significantly more impressive.

    Bill Braskys 21st birthday party ended with the invasion of Granada and the invention of the ribbed condom. -Special thanks to Todd Schulte

    You can get a good look at Brasky's ass by sticking your head up there, but wouldn't you rather take Cobra Commander's word for it?

    Bill Brasky speaks with a faint Pig-Latin accent.

  5. #5
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    "Bill Brasky was a two ton man-mountain who could palm a medicine ball!"

    "He taught me how to make love to a woman, and how to scold a child."

    "They found $60 in change in his stomach."

    "He date raped David Bowie."

    "He drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls."

    "His first name is Bill! ....... I'm drunk."

    "They use Brasky's foreskin as a tarp when it rains at Yankee stadium."

    "Brasky still believes in Santa Claus, and he wants to put him in porno films."

    "Bill Brasky is a son of a @#%$!"

    "I hate Bill Brasky.. but I respect him!"

  6. #6
    From Outta Space! Cozmo D's Avatar
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    Yes, this IS too Bill Brasky all right!!! MUCH TOO BILL BRASKY!!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


    Chief has finally used "too" correctly! :thumup:
    Alright
    Tap the lightpole and we'll be jammin all night
    And ain't nobody callin' the cops
    'Cause everybody's here freakin', if they're older they're doin the rock
    And every block from all around
    Comes runnin' to the park when they hear the sound
    And soon the word's spreadin' through our part of town
    "Yo, 40 Park y'all, Jam-On's gettin down"
    Yeah...

    Jam-On Productions:Website Forum

  7. #7
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    *NODS* "TOO BILL BRASKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. #8
    king of useless info syxxpm's Avatar
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    its impossible to date rape bowie :umm:
    the vibe says syxx so let it be syxx......

  9. #9
    pm dawn fam til infinity Hero1's Avatar
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    who the fuck is bill brasky? :donno:
    I've got amnesia.. I can't remember..

  10. #10
    Senior Member spidey's Avatar
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    The world may never know.
    Wake me up at 9:45.

  11. #11
    Senior Member fd's Avatar
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    :whogives:
    IF YOU CANT BEAT THEM, AVOID THEM FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

  12. #12
    king of useless info syxxpm's Avatar
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    bill bratsky...thats who! :rofl:
    the vibe says syxx so let it be syxx......

  13. #13
    Senior Member
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    That was all pretty funny.
    Elizabeth :laugh:

  14. #14
    king of useless info syxxpm's Avatar
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    bill bradsky knows that elizabeths avatar is rinoa
    the vibe says syxx so let it be syxx......

  15. #15
    king of useless info syxxpm's Avatar
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    i remember this....brian and his bratsky fetish.....:P
    the vibe says syxx so let it be syxx......

  16. #16
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    Faint pig Latin accent 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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