Chief
05-02-2003, 10:44 AM
"Bill Brasky is the father of every kid in this town!"
"Bill Brasky once showed me a video of him making love to my wife, and it was
the most beautiful thing I ever saw!"
"One time I was with Brasky in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live
deer. Brasky goes up to the deer and says, 'I'm Bill Brasky! SAY IT!' Then he
manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'Billbrasky' ...
It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!'"
"He'd eat a homeless person if you dared him!"
"His poop is used as currency in Argentina."
"He sweats Gatorade"
"He once breast-fed a flamingo back to health."
"He hated Mexicans! And he was half Mexican! .......And he hated irony!"
"I once saw him scissor kick Angela Landsbury."
"He sheds his skin once a year."
"He makes brooms somewhere in Georgia."
"He did 3 tours in 'Nam...... I was in Corpus Christi on business a month ago.
I had this eight foot tall Asian waiter, which made me curious. I asked him his
name. Sure enough it's Ho Tran Brasky!"
"I once saw him eat a whole live chicken."
"His favorite movie is 'One on One' with Robby Benson."
"He sleeps eight hours a night! ........ well, he was pretty normal when it
came to that."
"Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky took me out to go get a drink with
him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally Brasky takes me
to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half and
sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered
a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Brasky yelled over
the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found em!'"
"Bill Brasky had a four day heart attack...a day for each chamber. At the
autopsy, they said his heart looked like a basketball filled with riccotta
cheese."
"He once punched a hole in a cow just to see who was coming up the road."
"He did all the makeup on the 'Planet of the Apes' movie."
"He grew a 3rd arm and kept it in a vault."
"Brasky drank a full glass of liquid LSD with his eggs. Then he slept for 8
months straight. When he woke he rubbed his eyes and said, 'All in all, I
prefer gin.'"
"They say Gene Roddenbery got the idea for Star Trek from listening to Brasky
talk in his sleep."
"He once inhaled a seagull."
"The Pope told him it was ok to have a mistress."
"It was the sight of Brasky's naked body that drove Brian Wilson insane."
"He once had sex with a cigarette machine."
"He killed Wolfman Jack with a trident."
"He uses the Shroud of Turin as a golf towel."
"He once ate the Bible while water skiing."
"He sired a baseball team.. an orchestra if you count the bastards!"
"You know, he would shoot whiskey into his neck with a syringe!"
"He has dandruff the size of mice!"
"He jogged with a fridge on his back!"
"Bill Brasky was a 10 foot monster who slept with all our wives! And punched us
all in the face! And we loved him for it!"
"He's a ten foot tall beastman who showers in vodka and feeds his baby shrimp
scampi."
"He orchestrated the merger between Unicef and Smith & Wessen."
"He went public with his own buttocks and made $7 million."
"Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky went hunting? Brasky decides he's
going to hunt down all four of the Banana Splits. He stalks and kills every one
of them with a machette. They all begged for their lives...except Fleagle."
"We once had a bachelor party for Brasky. He ate the entire cake before we
could tell him there was a stripper in it."
"Brasky once hosted the Grammys and gave every award to Corey Hart."
"He has a toenail on the end of his penis."
"Brasky once got his wife pregnant and gave birth to a delicious 16 ounce
steak. The after birth was sauteed mushrooms."
"Brasky's family crest is a picture of a baracudda eating Neil Armstrong."
"Brasky ranked 18th in the AP College Football Pool."
"Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky was in a production of, 'The King &
I?' On opening night, Brasky chloroforms the entire cast and slowly eats them
in front of the audience for two hours. The production got pretty good
reviews."
"He breastfeeds John Madden."
"Brasky named the group Sha-Na-Na. They did NOT want to be called that."
"If you drop a phonograph needle on Brasky's nipple, it plays the Beach Boys'
'Pet Sounds.'"
"Brasky directed that commercial where the women play basketball in high
heels."
"All the 'Yes' album covers are Brasky family photos."
"He wears a live rattlesnake as a condom."
"Did I ever tell you about the time he taught his son how to drive? He did it
by entering him in the Indy 500. The kid wrecked and died. Brasky said it
would've happened sometime."
"Brasky's semen can form into a liquid human - like the guy from 'Terminator
2'"
"He thinks then iron man is gay."
"He framed Roger Rabbit."
"The character of Johnny Appleseed was based on Brasky - except for the apple
tree planting and not raping men."
"He gave a handjob to a manta ray."
"Bill Brasky once showed me a video of him making love to my wife, and it was
the most beautiful thing I ever saw!"
"One time I was with Brasky in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live
deer. Brasky goes up to the deer and says, 'I'm Bill Brasky! SAY IT!' Then he
manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'Billbrasky' ...
It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!'"
"He'd eat a homeless person if you dared him!"
"His poop is used as currency in Argentina."
"He sweats Gatorade"
"He once breast-fed a flamingo back to health."
"He hated Mexicans! And he was half Mexican! .......And he hated irony!"
"I once saw him scissor kick Angela Landsbury."
"He sheds his skin once a year."
"He makes brooms somewhere in Georgia."
"He did 3 tours in 'Nam...... I was in Corpus Christi on business a month ago.
I had this eight foot tall Asian waiter, which made me curious. I asked him his
name. Sure enough it's Ho Tran Brasky!"
"I once saw him eat a whole live chicken."
"His favorite movie is 'One on One' with Robby Benson."
"He sleeps eight hours a night! ........ well, he was pretty normal when it
came to that."
"Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky took me out to go get a drink with
him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally Brasky takes me
to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half and
sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered
a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Brasky yelled over
the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found em!'"
"Bill Brasky had a four day heart attack...a day for each chamber. At the
autopsy, they said his heart looked like a basketball filled with riccotta
cheese."
"He once punched a hole in a cow just to see who was coming up the road."
"He did all the makeup on the 'Planet of the Apes' movie."
"He grew a 3rd arm and kept it in a vault."
"Brasky drank a full glass of liquid LSD with his eggs. Then he slept for 8
months straight. When he woke he rubbed his eyes and said, 'All in all, I
prefer gin.'"
"They say Gene Roddenbery got the idea for Star Trek from listening to Brasky
talk in his sleep."
"He once inhaled a seagull."
"The Pope told him it was ok to have a mistress."
"It was the sight of Brasky's naked body that drove Brian Wilson insane."
"He once had sex with a cigarette machine."
"He killed Wolfman Jack with a trident."
"He uses the Shroud of Turin as a golf towel."
"He once ate the Bible while water skiing."
"He sired a baseball team.. an orchestra if you count the bastards!"
"You know, he would shoot whiskey into his neck with a syringe!"
"He has dandruff the size of mice!"
"He jogged with a fridge on his back!"
"Bill Brasky was a 10 foot monster who slept with all our wives! And punched us
all in the face! And we loved him for it!"
"He's a ten foot tall beastman who showers in vodka and feeds his baby shrimp
scampi."
"He orchestrated the merger between Unicef and Smith & Wessen."
"He went public with his own buttocks and made $7 million."
"Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky went hunting? Brasky decides he's
going to hunt down all four of the Banana Splits. He stalks and kills every one
of them with a machette. They all begged for their lives...except Fleagle."
"We once had a bachelor party for Brasky. He ate the entire cake before we
could tell him there was a stripper in it."
"Brasky once hosted the Grammys and gave every award to Corey Hart."
"He has a toenail on the end of his penis."
"Brasky once got his wife pregnant and gave birth to a delicious 16 ounce
steak. The after birth was sauteed mushrooms."
"Brasky's family crest is a picture of a baracudda eating Neil Armstrong."
"Brasky ranked 18th in the AP College Football Pool."
"Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky was in a production of, 'The King &
I?' On opening night, Brasky chloroforms the entire cast and slowly eats them
in front of the audience for two hours. The production got pretty good
reviews."
"He breastfeeds John Madden."
"Brasky named the group Sha-Na-Na. They did NOT want to be called that."
"If you drop a phonograph needle on Brasky's nipple, it plays the Beach Boys'
'Pet Sounds.'"
"Brasky directed that commercial where the women play basketball in high
heels."
"All the 'Yes' album covers are Brasky family photos."
"He wears a live rattlesnake as a condom."
"Did I ever tell you about the time he taught his son how to drive? He did it
by entering him in the Indy 500. The kid wrecked and died. Brasky said it
would've happened sometime."
"Brasky's semen can form into a liquid human - like the guy from 'Terminator
2'"
"He thinks then iron man is gay."
"He framed Roger Rabbit."
"The character of Johnny Appleseed was based on Brasky - except for the apple
tree planting and not raping men."
"He gave a handjob to a manta ray."