dating sucks

[spidey]

I'm through with it! I'm tired of the whole ugly state of affaris that surround dating. It seems all the women I meet are nothing but shallow materialistic, selfish psychohosbeast that only car about landing a guy with lots of money, a hot body, and flashy car, etc. Since I have none of these, I guess I'm screwed! I't been one month since I dumped my insane, possessive ex-girl girlfriend, and I can't help but see this in most of the females I've encountered. I don't want to get burned again, so why play with the fire? And so begins my life of non-dating.

Brandon

[Louis85]

...I't been one month since I dumped my insane, possessive ex-girl girlfriend...

What is she now a dude? :wink:

Cheer up Brandon, your soulmate is out there! Keep looking!



Louis

[dreamrib]

I think we've all definatly been there. Just take you time to ground yourself & not be so bitter about things & it'll come around!

[bobble]

Wait a second, I read this post before!

I responded!

Twice!

ARGH!!!!

What's going on?

Sorry for the gratuitous (sp?) use of exclamation points.

[Tybris]

Dating in and of itself is screwed up to say the least these days. Growing up I was always told I was cute, but then was told "you're such a good friend", or "you're just like a brother to me", or "my favorite, if we dated that would mess up our friendship." Trying to understand why they didn't want to go out with me only made me depressed. I didn't have much money or nice car or fancy clothes but I was nice, respectful, and was constantly told I was cute but no dates. Girls will for the most part go after the hot-bodied bad boy, or the nice looking rich guy..it's just FACT! But then guys will for the most part go for the hot-bodied girl, and if possibly the nice looking rich girl..goes both ways. I have found however a better way to go about it, not that I need it anymore since I have De, but if you stop caring what they think of you and why they won't go out with you, you'll feel much better. Instead just get yourself in shape, focus on getting that better job or promotion and don't really even look twice at the hot girl at the J.Crew in the mall. You'll have more confidence having gotten in better shape, you'll dress better having made more money and girls will think you're taken so they'll want to know what you're doing to keep 'her' happy. Won't work for everyone and it's not easy, but I've learned it's much better than getting depressed and feeling sorry for yourself (been there...LOTS)

[bobble]

Some interesting (and good) advice from Tybris.

Being called cute is the kiss of death. You never want to be cute. And being a friend is worse.

I think something guys need to realize is that trying to be friends first and then becoming a couple isn't the way to go. Make your intentions known from the get go. Get her number. If she doesn't want to give you her number, walk away. She ain't interested (and don't fall for the "here's my cell" or "here's my work number" or "what's _your_ number?" These are all evasion tactics. If she tries them, you know you've already lost). And when you get her number, call and ask her out with authority. There's no need to be wimpy (do you think that maybe sometime we could maybe go out) or apologetica about it. Ask with confidence.

Look at guys like Carey (sp) Grant and Humphrey Bogart. Look at their types of characters. Strong, unapologetic about their desires. Respectful (well, usually . . . . maybe not Bogie) and many more things. But they were never friends of the women they were after.

I dunno. Just my two cents. Worked for me . . . so far.

[spidey]

I apperciate all your advise, everyone. I will make an effort to allpy these things to my life. And, you're, Dream, I do need to stop being bitter. I made one mistake (okay, a few), but I shouldn't let it kill me.

Thanx again!

Brandon

[Tybris]

You must first still the pond to see yourself clearly, beating the water only scares away the fish.

[bobble]

But if you don't scare away the fish, when you look in the pond to see your reflection, won't you mistake a fish for your face?

[atma]

:umm2:

[Tybris]

If casting your reflection into the pond brings back a fish, then you must be a fish...STFU!

[Elizabeth]

You usually find someone when you're not looking. :wink:
Elizabeth

[bobble]

You usually find someone when you're not looking. :wink:
Elizabeth

Bingo!

Bingo a million times over.

One minute, you're getting surgery to repair the cartilege in your knee. The next your in physiotherapy thinking "Who is that girl volunteering at the clinic?" And before you know it you're arranging your appointments to be in the evening because that's when she volunteers.

And then it's approaching Oct. 17th and your three month anniversary. :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :laugh: :mrgreen: :thumup:

[Elizabeth]

oooohhh! :thumup:
Elizabeth

[SaintHax]

/me runs off to smash kneecaps with a hammer

[Cozmo D]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Rumi_Philosophie]

Hey hax, instead of doing that, just take your mom's brooch and blot out your eyeballs. :donno:

[SaintHax]

how bout you do it for me

[Dark Sun]

I have not been looking for years, and that doesn't seem to be working . . . I think I'm going to buy a can of Axe, and see if I have better luck with that.


Seriously though, the term "hopelessly single" applied to yours truly. I totally feel what people have been saying though about confidence and all that. It's good advice . . . I am totally not confident at all and I think that has a lot to do with why I don't get any girls. I'm a big guy, so when I was growing up, I was either a) being ignored by girls because all my friends are better looking (no lie- I should have dumped them and found some ugly guys to hang out with so I would look good), or b)Watchin my friends backs- they had a tendency to act like jerks or overstep their boundries and a lot of the time I was defusing situtations- either verbally or physically . . . so my confidence is low, and I'm not used to talking to girls that much- I automatically go to clubs and focus on making sure no one hassles my friends now . . .

Anyway- gotta figure this world unfolds at it's own pace- stay up!