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Thread: 25 Manners Every Kid (and Adult) Should Know

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    Weird Boston guy Harmeister's Avatar
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    25 Manners Every Kid (and Adult) Should Know

    http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/paren...age-9-2480238/
    I expect you all to study this carefully. There will be a test from Doc at his next show...

    there we go, just right. keep walking...

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    waiting for Spring Louis85's Avatar
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    Those were awesome...
    I love the summer months!

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    PM Queen ElizabethX's Avatar
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    WTF is up with #6? #11 is also a bit weird. #13 is bullshit. #21 is also. #25 is also a bit too much.

    Etiquette Nazis!
    So patience... is nothing...

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    Fly on the wall since2003
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    #6 Agreed. #11 - Clearly if you are speaking to the intended person, why ask for them? You'll just be weird. #13 - Now, now liz. That's not lady like. #21 I agree with - as long as you are a fair parent who doesn't "ask" for "favours" all the time. #25 - depends on where the item is. What I want to know is, what's up with #23? You can tell a 5 yr old till you're blue in the face that they're not cutting a piece of food properly, but until they have the motor skills to do so, you would just be being a dick.
    Never burn your bridges while you're standing on them...

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    Senior Member ChrisLDog's Avatar
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    I think these are all pretty good.

    #6 is about kids who complain all the time. I know a couple of kids like that. I don't want to be around them for long.
    #11 is totally right on. The point is that kids (generally) don't have their own phones, so if you're calling someone, you should identify yourself. I always had to do that as a kid. "Hi, this is Chris, may I speak to Dustin, please?"
    What do you find to be bullshit about #13? Or are you being ironic? If so, nicely done!
    #21 - Yeah, I guess this one totally depends on what they ask the kid to do. But if it's their parent asking, they should do it.
    #25 - Really, you have a problem with this? What's wrong with that?
    I just don't end up where think I'm going when I start out.

  6. #6
    PM Queen ElizabethX's Avatar
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    Ian, I agree pretty much with everything you said (lawl).

    Chris, I guess I'm just spoiled because I have great kids. I know that some kids out there could break these "rules" and seem like little shits, but my kids break these rules out of sweet innocence and freedom, not because they are little shits. First and foremost I encourage them to think of others. My kids are very polite, even if they don't adhere to old school etiquette. If my kids break these rules, they are quite likable and not annoying while doing so.
    About #13, I let my kids swear. It's bullshit because it pretends adults dislike swearing and that you aren't impressing us by swearing. Adults love to swear and when I hear my son say "oh shit", it's all I can do to suppress my smile and laughter. I only do this so that he doesn't get some kind of kick out of swearing, and then do it all the time just to entertain (because that's annoying). I want their swearing to be genuine, and not based on any stigmas. Their swearing is actually quite rare and I find it's because I don't tell them such words are off limits or make them feel those words are somehow special or naughty. I want them to use language in sincerity and honesty.
    #25-- I guess it's like Ian says, it depends on where the item is. I'd hate for them to knock over stuff trying to get it, and if that's the case, they should ask for help. But, that's common sense. There shouldn't be a "rule" about it.

    A lot of this stuff sounds like "elbows off the table" stuff, which is really just not my style of parenting, at all.
    So patience... is nothing...

  7. #7
    Senior Member Mistress M's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ElizabethX View Post
    If my kids break these rules, they are quite likable and not annoying while doing so.

    See, what's funny is that I have heard tons of people say this about their kids. And yet, their kids are totally annoying.

    #6 is basically that there is a time and a place to complain, and kids do need to learn that.

    #11 I agree 100% with Chris -- I always STILL say: Hi this is..., may I please speak to... when I call people. Because nothing is more annoying than people who call my house and assume I know who they are or bark out a name they want to speak to making me need to ask who they are.

    #13 is because not everyone homeschools their kids. And if they get in the habit of cussing like a sailor all the time they will end up expelled with our 'zero tolerance' policies anymore. My friend handled it the best, in that she told her kids: "The secret to using grownup words is to never use them in front of grownups" which gave her kids license to curse, but not get written up in school.

    #21 is because it's important to not whine and bitch all the time someone asks you to do something.

    #25 is because not everyone find it adorable to have a 4 year old crawl across a table to get at the peas, knocking over wine glasses and spilling the peas in the process.
    “Sometimes we just need someone to show us something we can’t see for ourselves.”

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    PM Queen ElizabethX's Avatar
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    Once again, I'm being totally misunderstood when it comes to parenting.

    I have people tell me all the time in public how well-behaved and quiet my kids are. I don't just brag on them out of sheer bias-- they are genuinely good kids and I ask myself every day how I got so lucky. In public or wherever, people are usually amazed. I get comments all the time on it. Now, I have to admit that Cian is entering a phase where he is definitely starting to be challenging, but I am still usually found surprising people.

    Again, a lot of this shit is just common sense. There don't need to be any strict rules about any of this (like the four year old and the peas-- who does that? who allows that to happen? not because it's a "rule", but because a four year old knows to wait for some help with the peas, how to sit down politely and eat, or the mom steps in and says "let me help you with that, sweetie" rather than "you're breaking rule #25, you little shit!"). These rules assume chaos. I am all about order. My freewheeling hippie ways have people thinking anything goes. It doesn't-- I rule with common sense, and a sense of equality. My children are people, too, and they can make many choices for themselves without me having to be the big bad boss nonstop. And they do it with dignity and grace... they are quite well-behaved.

    To specifically address the swearing, yes it does help that I homeschool. I always knew, however, that if my kids entered actual school and were caught swearing that I wouldn't care and they would not be disciplined for it. But, (and I'm repeating myself here) my kids rarely swear. In fact, most adults aren't even aware of the fact that I let my kids swear unless I tell them so. They aren't heard shouting obscenities at the playground or across a crowded store, and they have a sense of respect for others enough so that they seem to intuitively "get" that there's a time and a place for everything, including swearing. I, however, will not be mandating their speech to them. If any grown up has a problem with that, I've got some choice words for THEM.

    In summation, I stand firm that my kids are some of the least annoying kids you will ever meet, and I promise I'm not just saying that because I'm their mother. I get praised for it all the time.
    So patience... is nothing...

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    PM Queen ElizabethX's Avatar
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    Mistress, could it just be that you find CHILDREN annoying?
    So patience... is nothing...

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    Senior Member Mistress M's Avatar
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    No, because I know plenty of people whose kids are totally fine. I'm just saying that not every parent judges their own kids as accurately as they sometimes think they do.

    Although I applaud your use of 'common sense,' not everyone has common sense to pass along to their kids. In which case, these kinds of rules DO need to be put out there. I don't think anyone is thinking that #25 is a good rule because it is a rule -- it's because you'd be surprised how many people DO NOT teach their kids to wait patiently for help rather than helping themselves. I personally would add rule #26: unless it is a Chuckie Cheese, don't let your kids run around a restaurant playing hide and go seek under the tables, screaming, tripping each other on the floor, and throwing a ball. I've had two dinners out in the last four months ruined because apparently some parents around here think that's totally o.k.


    Oh, and when I went over to the parents to complain because their kid was hiding under my table and almost spilled their grape juice on my purse, they actually said to me: "Well no one ELSE has ever complained about our kids..." so case in point.
    “Sometimes we just need someone to show us something we can’t see for ourselves.”

  11. #11
    Fly on the wall since2003
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    Quote Originally Posted by ElizabethX View Post
    Mistress, could it just be that you find CHILDREN annoying?
    Doesn't everyone? "Why this?", "Why that?", "Can I?", "I don't want to".

    What a pain in the arse! Who in their right mind would have kids?!
    Never burn your bridges while you're standing on them...

  12. #12
    Weird Boston guy Harmeister's Avatar
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    I turn the tables on my kids sometimes and when they made a statement I would ask "Why" or "How come?" over and over and over and over again. ad infinitum When they call "dad" now, but wait like 30 seconds to ask me a question, I call them by their name. When they ask "what?" I just keep repeating their name when they ask me again and again.
    Last edited by Harmeister; 05-18-2011 at 08:10 PM. Reason: dumb quotes didn't come out right

    there we go, just right. keep walking...

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    Senior Member Mistress M's Avatar
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    Bwahahahahahaah @Harm.
    “Sometimes we just need someone to show us something we can’t see for ourselves.”

  14. #14
    PM Queen ElizabethX's Avatar
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    My kids would never do that, Mistress. In fact, my kids stay away from strangers and have a nice healthy fear of them. My husband and I are often appalled at other kids' behavior in public, like when a little girl stayed turned around in her seat while we were eating for the entire duration, staring at us. The only thing she ever spoke about was to brag that she makes her brother do everything when she sent him off to get her a drink. Then the kids proceeded to drink the liquid cheese they had apparently just ordered. All the while their parents were oblivious and could not even be bothered. I *almost* said something to the girl, but I was too polite. (grrr). So I basically allowed her to just stare at us eating the whole time. ARGH.
    So patience... is nothing...

  15. #15
    Weird Boston guy Harmeister's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mistress M View Post
    Bwahahahahahaah @Harm.
    If only my wife would think it's funny. She tends to roll her eyes at me...

    there we go, just right. keep walking...

  16. #16
    Senior Member Mistress M's Avatar
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    See, Liz, that's what I'm saying: just because YOU may have common sense and don't need a list of rules, many parents apparently DO.
    “Sometimes we just need someone to show us something we can’t see for ourselves.”

  17. #17
    waiting for Spring Louis85's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ElizabethX View Post
    My kids would never do that, Mistress. In fact, my kids stay away from strangers and have a nice healthy fear of them. My husband and I are often appalled at other kids' behavior in public, like when a little girl stayed turned around in her seat while we were eating for the entire duration, staring at us. The only thing she ever spoke about was to brag that she makes her brother do everything when she sent him off to get her a drink. Then the kids proceeded to drink the liquid cheese they had apparently just ordered. All the while their parents were oblivious and could not even be bothered. I *almost* said something to the girl, but I was too polite. (grrr). So I basically allowed her to just stare at us eating the whole time. ARGH.
    Ugh, I hate when that happens to me at a restaurant. Sometimes I will make a mean face at them to get them to turn around. (I know that's terrible!) :-)

    The worst was when I flew one time and this retarded kid in the seat behind me kept touching my ears and head. I wanted SO BADLY to pop him a quick one just so he would leave me alone on the 3 hour flight. Everyone on the plane would have hated me!! I can't believe that someone would let a mentally retarded kid fly by himself. Unbelievable...
    I love the summer months!

  18. #18
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    Yea....Tim's mom can be such an inconsiderate bitch like that.

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    PM Queen ElizabethX's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Louis85 View Post
    . Everyone on the plane would have hated me!! I can't believe that someone would let a mentally retarded kid fly by himself. Unbelievable...
    Unsupervised!?!? Seriously! That's so unsafe and inappropriate.
    So patience... is nothing...

  20. #20
    Banned wendyful04's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chief View Post
    Yea....Tim's mom can be such an inconsiderate bitch like that.
    lol
    Which Tim though?


    I can't stand annoying kids. I have zero problemo setting them and their parents straight.

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