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Thread: Fun Things To Do With UNIX

  1. #1
    Senior Member Deity's Avatar
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    Location
    Seattle, Baby!!! ^_^
    Posts
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    Type in the following at a command line:

    % make fire
    Make: Don't know how to make fire. Stop.

    % why not?
    No match.

    % gotta light?
    No match.

    % !1984 olympic internetting
    1984: Event not found.

    % How's my lovemaking?
    Unmatched '.

    % "How would you rate Bush's incompetence?
    Unmatched ".

    % [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
    Missing ].

    % [Where is my brain?
    Missing ].

    % ^How did the sex change^ operation go?
    Modifier failed.

    % ^How did the sex change operation go?
    Bad substitute.

    % If I had a ( for every $ Congress spent, what would I have?
    Too many ('s.


    % %blow
    %blow: No such job.

    % (-
    (-: Command not found.

    % sh
    $ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
    no sense in pretending!


    % cd /tmp
    % touch this; chmod 000 this
    % ln -s /usr/bin/touch U
    % U this
    U: cannot touch this: no write permission

    % cd ~god
    Unknown user: god.

    % ar m God
    ar: God does not exist

    % make love
    Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.

    % sleep with me
    bad character

    % ^What is saccharine?
    Bad substitute.

    % drink bottle: cannot open
    opener: not found

    % nice man woman
    No manual entry for woman.

    % man pussy
    No manual entry for pussy.

    % rm God
    rm: God nonexistent

    % ar r God
    ar: creating God

    % man you
    No manual entry for you.

    % look into "my eyes"
    look: cannot open my eyes

    % lost
    lost: not found

    % mkdir yellow_pages; cat > yellow_pages
    yellow_pages: Is a directory

    %touch me
    %chmod 000 me
    %touch me
    touch: cannot touch me: permission denied

    % ar x "my love life"
    ar: my love life does not exist

    % ar x "matey, the treasure"
    ar: matey, the tresure does not exist

    % talk Gorvachev@Kremlin
    talk: Kremlin: Can't figure out network address.

    % talk Comrade Khruchev
    [Your party is not logged on]

    % ping elvis.rice.edu | awk '{print substr($1,1,5), $2, $3}'
    elvis is alive

    % finger huge-keg-party@big-house
    Unknown host

    * % make ' ' bang ' ' with gun
    * make: Fatal error: Don't know how to make target ` '
    Because the sky is blue, it makes me cry...

  2. #2
    Senior Member fd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
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    fuck knows
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    :umm:
    IF YOU CANT BEAT THEM, AVOID THEM FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

  3. #3

    I have late nite convos with my unix server

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