1. Most people don't know what it is and can't pronounce it.
2. It's hard to get a decent meal in a restaurant.
3. People who've heard you're a vegan expect you to be really thin when they meet you. (well ok, sometimes they got your number)
4. People expect you to be humorless, strident, and out to convert them, when in all actuallity you want them dead.
5. Vinyl shoes are hot, and canvas shoes don't go well with formal wear.
6. Reading small print makes your eyes hurt.
7. Sometimes when you're watching people eat meat, you get kind of queasy.
8. People think you're either depriving or abusing your dog.
9. People think you're a radical, tree-hugging peacenik, when in all actuallity you want them dead.
10. Your friends think you are strange. Shit, even your own family thinks you are strange
11. Soymilk isn't served in Dunkin Donuts.
12. You go to dinner at someone's house. First they try to feed you fish, figuring somehow that fish is a vegetable. When that's politely turned down, they offer you the potatoes smothered in cheese and sour cream. When that still isn't acceptable to you, they rummage around in the fridge to find a head of lettuce for you to graze on. And you told them you were a vegan when they invited you!
13. Your friends tell you that a cheeseless pizza is not really a pizza and will not split one with you.
14. You find something really cool to wear, only to read the label and find out it's silk, leather, or wool.
15. When you tell someone that you're a vegan, they tell you that they really want to eat healthier and then go into all the reasons(i.e., excuses) why its hard and they can't. But you weren't interested in having the conversation go that direction, and you can't seem to get them to get off it.
16. You tell someone you're vegan, and then they offer you chocolate and cheese nachos.
17. All the fucking time you will be minding your own damn business, and a meat eater will come up to you and start arguing, saying that milk isn't cruel, blah blah blah
18. It's really tiresome the zillionth time somebody asks you "What do you eat?" with that you-must-be-crazy look on their face.
19. The lunch you bring to work becomes the topic of conversation...EVERY DAY!
20. Others feel driven to point out that vegetables are alive too! No shit asshole.
21. Others feel driven to point it out every time they eat animal products in front of you, and you are forced to hold back the urge to cram there meal up there ass after having it done for the 12th time that day.
22. You have to restrain yourself every time you hear "I couldn't do it" as the closing argument on every discussion of the merits of veganism.
23. People are insulted if you won't eat their food when visiting them, and think you're a hassle if you tell them what to cook for you.
24. Waiters will not be happy to see you.
25. People will never believe in their hearts (no matter how often you tell them) that you eat this way all the time, even at home. (After all, you can't live without meat, can you?)........jerk
26. People assume you must be for anarchy -- and that they know all your political ideas revolve around the destruction of meat eaters. (ok, sometimes they got your number)
27. once you have mentioned that you are a vegan in polite conversation, suddenly people back away from you the way they do when avoiding a jahova's witness. actually this isn't so bad if you're as anti-social as i am.
28. after hearing you're a vegan, people think you are some sort of militant, scary fanatic who exudes ulterior motives in every sentence. they don't seem to understand when you tell them you were like that before you became a vegan...
29. People assume that being vegetarian means you don't do anything unhealthy, like smoke or drink, so when you do those things, they act all shocked.
30. People you eat out with get exasperated when you try to determine what exactly is in the food you are ordering. (If it were an allergy, it would be fine, but since it's a choice, it's weird.)
31. people will assume if you are male, and you are a vegan, you must be gay.
32. the constant quizzing of what you do and do not eat--as though these people that just found out you are vegan are going to somehow find a loop hole where you actually aren't and you just didn't know it.
33. people will try to bring meat over your house when they come to chill, and act like your an asshole when you won't let them in.
34. people telling you "You can just pick the cheese off." and acting like your an asshole when you reply,"how about i take a shit on your food and you can just pick it off?"
35. good luck finding a vegan girl friend
36. it is damn hard fighting the urge to beat the bloody piss out of someone calling themself a vegetarian who really eats chicken, fish, seafood, etc. and then arguing that that doesn't man they're not a vegetarian and the urge to beat them into a bloody mess becomes so overwhelmingly strong that you just want to fucking........nevermind
37. You feel like you should have a memorized index of recipes, environmental statistics and health facts to draw on in every conversation. How many omnivores get asked what their typical meals are? And how many of them are quizzed on their balance of nutrients or eating ethics?
38. having to put up with those peta pussies and "non-judgemental" vegetarians sucks
39. you will spend 10 times as much time defending your food than you will eating your food.
40. those fucking people who dub theselves "animal friendly" while eating them.
41. those fucking anti-abortion lobbyists who are all "respect life" while taking it away when they are hungry.
42. those fucking religious people that tell you "god told us to eat meat" and act like your an asshole when you reply, "well i guess i ain't hear the mutha fucka, huh?"
43. those fucking people that will tell you Jell-O is not an animal product.
44. even vegetarians will think your crazy.
45. you will have to learn to translate english into vegan
a. it tastes good= i don't care about anyone but me me and only me
b. it's unhealthy=i'm clueless
