How coffee beans ruined my life
This happened several years ago.
My cousin was in town, and I was showing him around my city. Back then, Ybor City (Tampa's nightclub district) was the place to be. I took him there to show him the local nightlife, and since he doesn't drink, we were making a stop at a coffee shop in Ybor. There was a long line in the coffee shop; about a ten-minute wait. The management took advantage of this by placing a gumball machine about midway through the line. If you put a quarter in the machine, you'd get a handful of chocolate-covered espresso beans which were not only delicious, but were great fuel for a night out dancing. I got a quarter's worth, and was happily munching away. In front of me, a woman turned around to ask me for the time.
She was gorgeous. Women that pretty never talk to me, so I didn't read much into "Do you have the time?" I told her what my watch said with a detached courtesy. Just as I was about to resume my conversation with my cousin, I felt a gentle tug on my arm. I turned around to answer the tug, and whaddaya know... it was the pretty girl again-- She did want to start a conversation with me! I guess "Do you have the time" is as good an opening line as I've ever used...
We started chatting, and my eyes brightened. From just a couple of sentences, I could tell that she was not only beautiful, but smart, too. We continued chatting, and the corners of my mouth turned up. Not only was she beautiful and smart, but she was witty enough to make me grin. She was so easy to talk to; my heart was fluttering. The formless girl of my dreams was quickly coalescing in the image of this woman.
But wait-- there was more! After talking to her some more, I found out that, not only was she beautiful, smart, and witty enough to make me grin, but she was also funny-- so funny, that I couldn't help but laugh out loud at a joke she told.
That's when I remembered that the inside of my mouth was stained black with the sludge of a handful of chocolate coffee beans.
It was too late to keep my mouth from opening wide; it's like when you lock your keys in the car, and you don't remember that you left your keys in the car until a split second too late to stop the car door from closing.
I don't know exactly how my teeth looked at that moment, but judging from the way her face went from pleasant to aghast as if a switch had been flipped, I have a pretty good idea that I looked pretty bad.
I never even learned her name.
And that's how chocolate covered espresso beans ruined my life.
