desperately in need of some advice...from someone anyone

first of all what you have to understand is that prior to "set adrift" I NEVER HAD A GYRLFRIEND....i guess i just never had the confedence to just go for it....anyhoot... i need a new gyrlfriend...now usually my women overlap each other especially when i can feel a relationship deteriorating....i absolutely hate to be without love for any real long period of time...and for someone like me 2 years is long enough....so here's my dilemna.....How does a "trapper" become a "Hunter"....

For all those that have no idea what i'm saying...the theory goes as follows...

there are 2 types of men....there are hunters...and there are trappers...i am usually / normally a trapper...i set up my traps....i put them in various places...and whatever gets caught...i eat...quite literally.... and you gotta get to em with the quickness or they go bad or they'll get eaten by sumthin else....the problem with this is you're only as good as your traps=friends and situations that provoke instant emotional responses i.e. and this concerns you cheif...weddings-funerals-graduations-proms...and the biggest problem with trapping is the reason i want to convert...you absolutely can not be picky...if you trap a rabbit you're eating a rabbit....if you trap a chicken...you're eating chicken.....and if you trap a pig...guess what...and also....ALSO...you almost never ever ever ever trap a cow or a horse

now hunters get to hunt exactly what they want to eat...now granted they don't always get to eat it but they do get to see it first and map out how they want it to cook....they got all the fancy equipment....a few hot one liners or some blingage that can sniper someone at long distance...or run up on someone...hit em over the head with a club and drag they ass home....

so you see ....i need to get my ass in a sniper class because it's hunting season and this time i want a friggin dinosaur

hollah
b.

be both

seeing as how this is advice from a 27 year old homosexual virgin,,you may wanna take this with a grain of salt....

see....a girl......
try to initiate conversation......
if you get the b variant (where she doesnt say shes taken....)
continue....this is not going to be a one day thing...trust try talking a little bit to her each day...(show off that smile and crack some awkward jokes)..find out what shes interested in....if you like it...slip references....if not and she asks...say...im not into that but do you like this....do something nice for her....by her a drink(can even be a soda) ask her if she needs a ride home(even if she has a car)if a week goes by and shes not attempting a brush off or giving a nervous smile when you walk through the door....then youve got something....

take her out to a movie....or stay in and rent one...."dont try board games as women invariably cheat at parchese"....dont talk about any relationship disasters youve had UNTIL she tells you all the stuff that she has (empathy is great for a couple at times)...dont tell her about any of the family stuff UNTIL she unloads any of her problems on you....heres the point i would say just show her that loveable and insightful side of you that you showed me and if she is human it will melt her heart like land o lakes....

eventually as for the bedroom....try to be as don juan de marco as you possibly can be the first time....(unless she likes getting tea bagged)...
and tell her any vulnerable romantic stuff approx 5 minutes after you spooge,,,,make sure your lieing next to her staring at the ceiling witha glazed expression on your face...(and remember party sox are dopy when knocking boots)keep in mind she probably wont suck your toes the first time...."just work on her"......

oh and...if shes a horrible lay....after shes done toweling you off....give her the phone number to an arbys in rahway..........then again this may or may not have been the best advice ive ever attempted giving

Try being a scavenger. Look on the side of the road for a cow, deer, horse or whatever your in to. After a big freakin' truck hits one, be there to pick them up. Put on some "Faith In You" and watch the healing process begin. Worked for me.
I wasn't bold enough to be a hunter or smart enough to be a trapper.

how about just being yourself? you're gonna have to eventually..if you're a trapper you're a trapper ;)

better to be a trapper then a trapper keeper cuz than the papers just get all disorganized and messy.....

from the hunter perspective,you still dont have to have one liners and bling,unless you wanna meet all your ladies at clubs? Be , you got more high profile things under your belt than one liners or bling have u not?
female friends who can talk you up to the woman you like are invaluable as well i think... when u huntin it makes a result all that more satisfying eh. and it aint just what happened to end up in dat old net.

dude , you'd make an excellent hunter without even needing the usual superficial trump cards.

fingers crossed for ya at finding the one of your dreams. (or her finding you)..

yeah.. theres another perspective.. haha make yourself well known in many circles and tease their trigger fingers :)

I tend to think it comes down to a mixture of self confidence, looks and attitude. This is just an observation, cuz I have never been a hunter, I AM the trap. I've rarely been the one to make the first move, I always let girls come to me, and I did alright before I got married. Syxx, you're pretty smart about talking to girls, considering you don't dance that way. Right on brotha. What's always pissed me off is once I'm hooked up with someone, suddenly all the girls i liked and wanted to ask out, are all over me, but only when I'm commited to someone else. Why didn't you say something before????

I don't know about all the hunter/trapper business (I'll have to think about THAT one) but here's some good advice - for all of you guys.

If you want to sleep with a girl, you'll have to figure out how and I can't tell you how because every girl is different... If/when the sex thing comes into play and you're not positive that she's as 'up to it' as you are: ASK.

For example, "Can I touch you?" you say with a confident-yet-worshipping expression on your face.

This will avoid so many problems.

PS- I do the same 'overlap' thing too. I haven't been without a boyfriend since I was 16.

I guess I have always been a trapper - but not exactly as you put it. Some trappers are picky and do throw back those they don't want. Case in point, I had 2 girls wanting my attention... I threw one back (didn't call her, kept blowing her off), and picked up on the other. The one I picked up on I married - about 10 years later... Sometimes I was a bit aggressive, but to me, it is just baiting the trap heavy sometimes... I usually let them come to me...

I agree with Hero, though. If you are looking for anything that you might want to last - be yourself ;) . On the other hand, if you are looking for something quick and temporary, spit-shine the trophy and let it sparkel in a club :cool: - just don't expect a keeper - only someone who is looking for the sparkel and would expect it all the time... :eek:

I would say to just be yourself and hang out with more/different folks and friends than you have been. Go to other people's parties - see who they have coming around. Maybe Wendy can hook you up with some awesome Miami parties... Clubbing down there was really fun last time I went...

Quote:

Originally Posted by samedeepwaterasyou

What's always pissed me off is once I'm hooked up with someone, suddenly all the girls i liked and wanted to ask out, are all over me, but only when I'm commited to someone else. Why didn't you say something before????

You've touched upon one of THE basic similarities between women and men. Male and female alike are controlled by a character flaw called covetousness. We don't desire anything unless we know that someone else wants it. The tendency to be more desirous of that which is desired by others is a basic component of human nature; every economy that humankind has devised is based on this trait that we all share.
We even tend to speak ill of the people who want what we consider undesirable! I'm sure that you have heard dozens of unkind names for people who date those that aren't considered attractive by prevalent standards.
We desire the ones with beautiful bodies, without regard to whether that beautiful body is the container for a beautiful soul. We are even willing to step all over the ones who are beautiful on the inside, just to get to the ones with the beautiful bodies. And to make things worse, we allow others to define for us what beauty is! You can subsitute "beauty" with "wealth" or "fame"-- one is analogous to the other.
So why do we do all of this? We let the apparent desires of others influence us so deeply, that we allow ourselves to forget our own most genuine desires. If we are honest with ourselves, we realize how many of the things we do, are done just to impress others; things which are not at all fulfilling to us.
Is our desire to be envied really that much more important to us than our desire for love? Somehow, it seems that it is. It's sick and it's depressing, but hey, that's my take on human nature.

ok maybe that post was a lil too long and indepth i guess i was just in the vomitting mood but all i need is a few good bullets....i wanna know how to be a hunter from a hunters perspective...i don't really have too many hunters available to me round these parts...but i should'a guess most the fellas round here for trappers....no offence but hunter are usually assholes.....search your feelings you know this to be true....

Quote:

Originally Posted by Be

ok maybe that post was a lil too long and indepth

Sorry 'bout that, Be; I know that I didn't address your original question at all.
I guess I'm in one of those grouchy moods right now, so I was just aching to rant.

I'm afraid that I can't give you any hunting tips, either; I'm not a trapper, either; I'm more of a troller. The advantage of trolling is that even when I don't catch anything, I still got to go on a boat ride!
My point is-- don't approach it like it's some kind of serious exercise. Have fun with it, and to assure that you have fun, remember that rejection is all a part of the game; even James Bond gets rebuffed sometimes.

If you really want to find out how to hunt, I suggest that you look up some interviews with Gene Simmons of KISS. Some may not like him, but nobody can deny that the man gets his share of women. There's really no magic to his mojo (well, except for the tongue thing); it's his confidence, and the fact that he hits on every last woman that he finds attractive, that contribute to his success as a hunter.

yeah hunters really have no shame.. so you can work on that I guess Be :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Be

....i wanna know how to be a hunter from a hunters perspective...i don't really have too many hunters available to me round these parts...but i should'a guess most the fellas round here for trappers....no offence but hunter are usually assholes.....search your feelings you know this to be true....

Why would you want to be like the assholes?

Maybe it's been too long since you've had some freaky sex and you're horny like a mf.

Maybe you're lonely too.

It seems like you already know what it takes to be a hunter by your own observations.

Isn't a trapper a hunter anyhow?

If it's THAT bad, you'll just have to master the art of identifying easy 'prey' - although many of us ladies have been known to hunt as well.

Too bad so many men like to call us bad names when we do that. (They're just ruining it for themselves.)

Quote:

Originally Posted by wendyful04

If it's THAT bad, you'll just have to master the art of identifying easy 'prey'

I'd say that is (was) more my style of hunting/trapping. :cool: I would test the waters in different places and go for easy prey... sometimes, though, I would be bored and actually hunted for harder to get prey. I was not nearly as good a hunter as I was a trapper/hunter-of-easy-prey. :rolleyes:

A little freaky sex, as Wendy mentioned, goes a long way, though.... *THAT* was worth hunting for back in the day... :D :D :D

As far as pointers go, most of my experience came from going to college parties then parties of friends from work. I imagine NY/NJ is much like Chicago (big city - not like poe-dunk Tampa Florida).

When I was a bachelor in Chicago, I did a bit of clubbing. Definitely found lots of prey... sometimes you're just looking for a nice pair of ta-tas to warm up to - you can find them there.

Concerts - lots of girls haging out together at concerts looking for the guys at the concerts... The headliner kinda tells you who's showing up. You want freaky sex chicks, don't go see Elton John...

Bar hopping scene - Chicago has the famous Rush and Division bar scene... plenty to meet and greet there... folks tend to be in small groups... bring a few friends and plan to stay out until you hit the all night tacoshack at 4 am (every big town has one of those near the bars, don't they?)... plan on several cab rides...

Look for the public events - Chicago does things like Taste of Chicago in downtown Grant Park, Greek Fest, etc, etc. There you can kind of tell if a specific type of person will be there. If you are hunting hot latinas, Cinco de Mayo parties will be it...

Basically - you have go to get out and socialize... troll around and see what's out there *before* sharpening the arrow tips... A good hunter knows his territory... Practice on easy prey at first and then work your way up to full fledged asshole, if you want... ;)

FWIW - the girl I married first - I met in a bar. The woman I married second - met at school, hooked up again 10 years later, have two kids, nice life, etc, etc - and love! The chicks I dated between the two range from romantic, to freaky sex, to "let me tell you about when I had a demon excercised from my body" (gave the best head in the world), etc.

Know what you are hunting for... find out where it is... Maybe you need a trip to Jamaica!!!!! :D :D :D

wow...i can totally relate here...

lil background for the noobs around here.....I have 2 children from the same mother, never married her because i knew it wouldve been for the wrong reason...

basically i was a "trapper" in all of my relationships....put the feelers out and let them come to me...worked quite well, but always managed to land a psycho one.....i began thinking it was me who was in the wrong and psychotic, but every single one of them kept repeating their neurotic behaviors with their new loves...so i found out that basically, the ones that i trapped were just the stupid ones who would wander right into it.......

now comes the woman i am about to marry......i began the whole ordeal with the trapping scenario in mind...ive known her since college....we never dated then, but got reaquainted last year around october.....well...after all that i have been through in relationships...i really got tired of the chase...Sherry was not giving me the time of day, yet would talk to me religiously...i think you all feel me there....anyways....here comes a holiday and i was sick of chasing this woman........so i basically became the hunter overnight.....i clubed her in the head and said your going out with me, and you have no choice in the matter.....now you may think im just saying this, but it was what it took to connect with her...she viewed me in a whole new light (which still freakin amazes me how women can change their views in an instant) hell, her mother even said months before that she should try going out with me.........i knew that one week after we started dating that she was IT!!

so here we are...the first time in my life that i become the hunter and i find my wife....what kind of crap is that??? :) and how odd is it that you put this up Be? I was thinking about this same shit for the last 8 months.....

anyways...advice...i have none....i wish i did, but all i know was i was tired of games..being played by women......put my foot down....donned my hunting gear, loaded the 12 guage and rolled to the woods.......

oh...and Be...thanks for adding a bit more pressure on me..LOL

p.s.....jesus hiero...here you have a ripe thread to make a sheep fucker response..and you pass????? what the hell..getting soft on us??? :)

and i do believe this is the longest ive ever written here...LOL

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chief

p.s.....jesus hiero...here you have a ripe thread to make a sheep fucker response..and you pass????? what the hell..getting soft on us??? :)

HAAAA HAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ROTFLMAOTMSH!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D