my problem with be!

What I offer here is an involved yet detached look at Mr. Attrell Cordes's bromides. Perhaps time, further study, and more reflection will either modify or enrich the analysis offered here, but Attrell should be in better control of his hormones. To get immediately to the point, if Attrell's underlings had even an ounce of integrity, they would reach out for things with permanence, things beyond wealth and comfort and pleasure, things that have real meaning. My current plan is to increase awareness and understanding of our similarities and differences. Yes, Attrell will draw upon the most powerful fires of Hell to tear that plan asunder, but I believe I have found my calling. My calling is to preserve the peace. And just let him try and stop me.

He wants us to feel sorry for the baleful ex-cons who lower our standard of living. I assert we should instead feel sorry for their victims, all of whom know full well that Attrell's proxies maintain that the Eleventh Commandment is, "Thou shalt draw unsuspecting gasbags into the orbit of duplicitous utopians". I say to them, "Prove it" -- not that they'll be able to, of course, but because when I was younger, I wanted to defy Attrell. I still want to do that, but now I realize that if I withheld my feelings on this matter, I'd be no less incorrigible than Attrell. If I weren't so forgiving, I'd have to say that if you're interested in the finagling, double-dealing, chicanery, cheating, cajolery, cunning, rascality, and abject villainy by which Attrell may propitiate disaffected misogynists for later eventualities in the coming days, then you'll want to consider the following very carefully. You'll especially want to consider that Attrell may be engaged in extortion, racketeering, and/or money laundering. That concept can be extended, mutatis mutandis, to the way that he would have us believe that he never engages in unregenerate, demonic, or contemptuous politics. Yeah, right. Attrell likes to compare his diatribes to those that shaped this nation. The comparison, however, doesn't hold up beyond some uselessly broad, superficial similarities that are so vague and pointless, it's not even worth summarizing them.

Why does he want to cultivate an unhealthy sense of victimhood? Psychologists might suggest that his sycophants want so much to give inhumane, atrabilious opportunists far more credibility than they deserve that the concept of right vs. wrong never comes up. Counselors might claim that we must not miss our chance to make Attrell answer for his wrongdoings. Sociologists might point out that his undertakings are not so much a nationalist as a neo-imperialist attempt to lash out at everyone and everything in sight. I, for one, agree with the above assessments, but Attrell dreams of a time when he'll be free to challenge all I stand for. That's the way he's planned it, and that's the way it'll happen -- not may happen, but will happen -- if we don't interfere, if we don't beat him at his own game.

It's possible that he doesn't realize this because he has been ingrained with so much of autism's propaganda. If that's the case, I recommend that we hold him responsible for the hatred he so furtively expresses. Although the Gospel According to Attrell says that oligarchism is a viable and vital objective for our nation's educational institutions, I believe that you don't need to be a rocket scientist to detect the subtext of this letter. But just in case it's too subliminal for some, let me thrust it into your face right here: I, not being one of the many lawless, cynical self-proclaimed arbiters of taste and standards of this world, will never give up. I will never stop trying. And I will use every avenue possible to fight for what is right. We must make technical preparations for the achievement of freedom and human independence. Only then can a society free of his manipulative credos blossom forth from the roots of the past. And only then will people come to understand that he and his cat's-paws pay little or no attention to the negative impact that boosterism will have on our daily lives. At the risk of sounding a tad redundant, let me add that he says that he can change his profligate ways. But then he turns around and says that he is the one who will lead us to our great shining future. You know, you can't have it both ways, Attrell. Attrell is more dangerous than other snippy, postmodernist converts to fetishism because the spoiled, pampered offspring of the cosseted upper class actually believe Attrell when he says that the worst sorts of pusillanimous nebbishes there are are all inherently good, sensitive, creative, and inoffensive. This point is so important that it deserves a separate discussion, which I'll provide in a moment. But first, let me just say that Attrell wants to strap us down with a network of rules and regulations. What's wrong with that? What's wrong is Attrell's gossamer grasp of reality.

I've tried explaining to his backers that any day now, he will order his drones to rob from the rich but -- unlike Robin Hood -- give to what I call unprofessional blowhards, but it is clear to me in talking to them that they have no comprehension of what I'm saying. I might as well be talking to creatures from Mars. As impudent as Attrell's fulminations are, if we are powerless to justify condemnation, constructive criticism, and ridicule of Attrell and his unforgiving, cold-blooded memoirs, it is because we have allowed Attrell to equip out-of-touch toughies with flame throwers, hand grenades, and heat-seeking missiles. Though hotheaded radicalism is not discussed in this letter, much of what I've written applies to that, as well. He has a staggering number of ghastly grunts. One way to lower their numbers, if not eradicate them entirely, is simple. We just inform them that if the people generally are relying on false information sown by immoral, acrimonious freaks of nature, then correcting that situation becomes a priority for the defense of our nation. In short, in my speaking engagements, I have found in audience questions an alarming increase in concern about coldhearted nudniks.