My Problem With Chief
I've been debating with myself over the last few weeks whether or not I should write this letter. Obviously, I outvoted myself and wrote it. I concluded I absolutely had to tell you that nothing agitates and humiliates Chief more than when I suggest the kind of politics and policies that are needed to restore good sense to this important debate. Let us note first of all that of all of his exaggerations and incorrect comparisons, one in particular stands out: "We have no reason to be fearful about the criminally violent trends in our society today and over the past ten to fifteen years." I don't know where he came up with this, but his statement is dead wrong.
Which brings me to my point. His subliminal psywar campaigns sound so noble, but in fact, there is no doubt that he will stultify art and retard the enjoyment and adoration of the beautiful as soon as our backs are turned. Believe me, I would give everything I own to be wrong on that point, but the truth is that the next time Chief decides to pooh-pooh the reams of solid evidence pointing to the existence and operation of a dishonest coterie of prętorianism, he should think to himself, cui bono? -- who benefits? I, not being one of the many mudslinging, mean-spirited beggars of this world, avoid twisted scamps like the plague. I kid you not.
Chief's biases are based on two fundamental errors. They assume that Chief is always being misrepresented and/or persecuted. And they promote the mistaken idea that going through the motions of working is the same as working. Is it just me, or do other people also think that there are people better equipped to cope with life than repressive weasels? I ask, because Chief should think about how his doctrines lead fatuous pikers to blame our societal problems on handy scapegoats. If Chief doesn't want to think that hard, perhaps he should just keep quiet.
I'm sure he wouldn't want me to eavesdrop on his conversations. So why does Chief want to cater to the basest instincts of scabrous hooligans? You see, his hangers-on are delighted with the potential for violent confrontation. End of story. Actually, I should add that were he alive today, Hideki Tojo would be his most trustworthy ally. I can see Tojo joining forces with Chief to help him make a mockery of the term "pancreaticoduodenostomy". Chief's press releases are based on some deep-rooted personality disorder. In just a moment I'll discuss some important recent developments based on this fundamental truth. First, however, I want to add a bit to what I wrote previously. Chief wants us to believe that individual worth is defined by race, ethnicity, religion, or national origin. How stupid does he think we are? Unfortunately, I can't give a complete answer to that question in this limited space. But I can tell you that if he can one day alter laws, language, and customs in the service of regulating social relations, then the long descent into night is sure to follow.
Is he a pious person? Yes, although Chief's "piety" unerringly leads him to whichever dogma is best for business. Speaking of which, he wants to get me thrown in jail. He can't cite a specific statute that I've violated, but he does believe that there must be some statute. This tells me that it is easy to see faults in others. But it takes perseverance to bear witness to the plain, unvarnished truth.
Considering the corruption and foolishness that characterize doctrinaire amnesiacs, there are a number of conceptual, logical, and methodological flaws in Chief's animadversions. At the risk of sounding a tad redundant, let me add that in order to convince us that pigheaded manipulators of the public mind make the best scout leaders and schoolteachers, Chief often turns to the old propagandist trick of comparing results brought about by entirely dissimilar causes. Although I respect his right to free speech just as I respect it for salacious euphuists, oleaginous busybodies, and debauched bribe-seekers, Chief says that human life is expendable. This is at best wrong. At worst, it is a lie. Efforts to threaten, degrade, poison, bulldoze, and kill this world of ours are not vestiges of a former era. They are the beginnings of a phenomenon which, if permitted to expand unchecked, will undermine liberty in the name of liberty.
Although he demonstrates a great deal of ignorance and presumption when he says that an open party with unlimited access to alcohol can't possibly outgrow the host's ability to manage the crowd, he used to complain about being persecuted. Now Chief is our primary persecutor. This reversal of roles reminds me that I'm not writing this letter for your entertainment. I'm not even writing it for your education. I'm writing it for our very survival. He is careless with data, makes all sorts of causal interpretations of things without any real justification, has a way of combining disparate ideas that don't seem to hang together, seems to show a sort of pride in his own biases, gets into all sorts of brutish speculation, and then makes no effort to test out his speculations -- and that's just the short list!
You see, Chief labels anyone he doesn't like as "unrestrained". That might well be a better description of him. I alluded to this earlier, but he might convince innocent children to follow a path that leads only to a life of crime, disappointment, and destruction before long. What are we to do then? Place blinders over our eyes and hope we don't see the horrible outcome?
In light of my stance on this issue, Chief's opinion is that there is something intellectually provocative in the tired rehashing of hate-filled stereotypes. Of course, opinions are like sphincters: we all have them. So let me tell you my opinion. My opinion is that if you want to hide something from Chief, you just have to put it in a book. He says that the rest of us are an inferior group of people, fit only to be enslaved, beaten, and butchered at the whim of our betters. But then he turns around and says that profits come before people. You know, you can't have it both ways, Chief.
But don't despair. Rather, take comfort in the knowledge that if we take his notions to their logical conclusion, we see that by the next full moon, he will inculcate piteous manuscripts. If you wonder why I take the stance that I do, it's because it's Chief's belief that my letters demonstrate a desire to quash other people's opinions. I can't understand how anyone could go from anything I ever wrote to such a lascivious idea. In fact, my letters generally make the diametrically opposite claim, that just because Chief and his buddies don't like being labelled as "self-centered troublemakers" or "frowzy racketeers" doesn't mean the shoe doesn't fit. I close this letter along the same lines it opened on: Chief is completely unaware of the difference between a correlation and a causation.
