PDA

View Full Version : Backin Dat Ass Up!



Cozmo D
06-17-2002, 05:19 PM
Ok,

It's been a minnit comin, but I've realized that I am outa place here. My wife has clowned me about it for the longest, but it's just recently that I've come to the conclusion that she's right.

Unlike almost all of ya'll, I am not a huge fan of PM Dawn. I am a HUGE fan of Be and Jarret, and in large parts thanks to ya'll, also a friend of theirs again.

I have never been the "fan" type however, as I hate idolization of people.
Hell, I'm not even a fan of Newcleus, I'm sure if any of ya'll own any of my shit you have probably listened to it more than I have.

I came here...well to pmdawn.net...as a lurker looking for closure I guess. It was through that venue that I found continuance instead of closure, for which I will be eternally grateful.

However, what happened is I discovered some very special people, and it drew me out unto the open.

I feel that I have developed good friendships here, hopefully long lasting ones. Some of you have become very special to me.

But, I find that I no longer feel relevant here...in fact, I feel completely out of place lately. Let's face it, the only regular here even remotely close to my age is 6 years younger, and lately he has even hardly been here.

Frankly, the only person who I hang with on a regular who is close to my age is my wife, and even that is starting to get to me (please...some testosterone...PLEASE!).

I also feel a growing resentment towards me here...I have actually felt it for some time...but it has always been more than balanced out by the obvious warmth I have felt from most of you. At this point now though, a point that may be extremely crucial in my life, I just don't feel it is something that I need.

At any rate, I will finish what I started with the compilation album, though at this rate I'm not sure that the level of participation justifies it.

I'll be here for a minnit to get that done...

Coz

SaintHax
06-17-2002, 05:38 PM
well this sucks... :sad:

SaintHax
06-17-2002, 05:42 PM
Coz please don't leave...you give this place alot of quality with your "older and wiser" post's

Don't leave...I'll paint your steps...anything

Chief
06-17-2002, 05:46 PM
Coz...sir, I want to be the first to say...Stick around man...I know damn well you never take any of my crap personally...I respect the hell out of you and I wish for you to understand that, at times long winded, i read everything you post. Because in all honesty, there is ALOT of merit to your writings..same with Freks..Ive stated it before.. I choose not to get into discussions that I am not educated on...whats the point of me bullshiting. I dont know about the vegan thing, ive learned a lot here though...That my friend is what keeps me interested....You sir are a crucial part of this place, and I personally think very highly of you...No I dont idolize you, I dont idolize anybody except myself....I try to come straight and honest at all times...thus in conclusion sir...hang around, but if you must, do what you have too do, and we will hook up sometime down the road..

Cozmo D
06-17-2002, 06:54 PM
Thanks.

The idolization thing was about me not being a fan Chief.

It's not about you (you know we homies man :) ) or anybody else here, it's about me.

Life is a growth process, and growth is a reciprical thing...I'm not growing here so therefore I feel I'm not helping anyone else to grow.

Maybe I am depressed (no, I'm not), or maybe it's the complete lack of any male companionship with anybody even close to my age or interests.

Maybe I'm just feeling fukkin sorry for myself.

I'm just not growing, and stagnation is never a good thing.

Coz

Chief
06-17-2002, 07:10 PM
ya see though coz..you missed my point totally.....you are an influence here.....you help people grow in my opinion....at least me.....dude..im flyin out there and we are going to the nudie bar.....

Cozmo D
06-17-2002, 07:17 PM
dude..im flyin out there and we are going to the nudie bar.....

Heheheheh...I wish

dreamrib
06-17-2002, 07:27 PM
*sniffs* *Runs around the room in circles at a high pace faint whispers on no no no exscaping my lungs**

ok I don't see you as someone older or a fan or a groupie or myself seeing you as such. I think you what you are....talented as you are, you are very down to earth, friendly, helpful, and an all around good person.

I feel ya if you have to do what you must but Know THIS you will be SORELY missed. We love talking with you & knowing we have a friend to talk to on here. Not eveyone can say they can do that.

I hope you start to see in you what we've seen all along...the strength to be the leader & one in control in anything. I just hope you don't leave. we would miss you terribley.

Just keep thinking about it.....you might talk yourself into hanging around. The thing with people your age...whether your a teenage, 20s,30s, 60,80s not everyone has people their age to hang out with. This is something we all go thru at some point.


I see you for what you can be....Inspiration, supportive, and one hell of a guy no matter what you choose to do!!

syxxpm
06-17-2002, 07:34 PM
open letter to benjamin cenac



you dont know how many times it was a thrill to see your name pop up on the mainpage and know that any second i wil be chatting with you or playing pm tag...your longwinded and incredibly nutritional diatribes where the highlight and one of the things i lived for on this site...i understand your need to grow and move on but i just wanted to tell you you are one of the people who gave me hope for the last six months
i thank you for all the knowledge you knocked into me and thank you for being there for me... i will miss seeing you on this site man....your kinda like a crazy genius uncle i never had....man memories are flooding me right now to my misenterpretation of your drunkedness that first night in the chat room.....TO THE BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE BAR NONE and as much as it was cool meeting be and frek but i also got to finally meet you...i hope you keep in touch with me and i hope you at least visit here once in a while....i definetely hope to see you in july and in the future thereafter...

you may feel stagnant but you sure as hell helped my future...
and besides whos gonna run S.A.U.S.A.G.E. WHEN YOUR GONE!!

peace be with you in whatever endeavor you seek forth
....and thank you........syxxpm carl frederich knieriem

Hero1
06-17-2002, 07:35 PM
coz we having fun here :rock: you are an intergral part of this place :thumup: dont leave you selfish bastard :flipoff: if you leave this place''ll die :umm:

Hero1
06-17-2002, 07:56 PM
hey coz if you do go we all enjoyed the time u were here and in the chat..take it EZ brotha :wave:

Terrick
06-17-2002, 07:58 PM
I never really got to get to know you very well, but you're a big part of this forum. I haven't been here long, but in the short period i know you've been important here. And, about your age n stuff, to tell you the truth, i had no idea how old you were. I still have no clue. The important thing to me was not how old you were, and wheter or not i'd exclude you because of your age. It was whether or not i could communicate with you easily, and how you related to me. And you sure made some good effin' replies with lots of good advice. I hate to see people leave, whether it's in a forum or in my life. But if ya really think you should go, i don't wanna stop you. It's your choice. We'll miss you, though. :sadwave:


Peace,
E

P.S. Make sure you come back to visit sometime.

Deity
06-17-2002, 08:32 PM
There are few people in my life that i can say have influenced me or helped me grow in some way...you Coz, are one of those people...i have always loved your sense of humor, and your never-ending "quest" to get me to show my "bootay"; but in all seriousness i loved the late night chats in the channel where you dispensed your advice and what life experiences you have had. To me, you are more like a father in that reguard than my blood father has ever been...and i cant begin to express what that means to me. You are there as a friend with a lending ear when i have needed it most. However i do understand and respect your primal need to journey ever forward through this crazy thing called life. I just hope that you dont remain a total stranger, and that in some way we can stay in touch. There is nothing i hate more than to find a friend i cherish, only to have them slip away and out of my life...

You will be greatly missed... :sadwave:

Jolene

Cozmo D
06-17-2002, 09:01 PM
:cry:

You know what...I'm a fukkin prick!

I apologise for letting my feeling so sorry for my fukkin self cast a cloud over this terrific place...and you terrific people.

Chief was right, and thank you all for helping him slap me upside the head...damm ya'll mean so much to me.

I do have to continue to cut down on my presence here somewhat, life is at the moment presenting me with some very vital challenges, and the people that mean the most to me are counting on me.

But frankly, I'm being a bitch, feeling sorry for myself and taking it out on you guys. It took no more than Hax and Chief to make me start to think, and now what the rest of ya'll have said...

Fukkit, you're never too old to be stupid...how could I not be growing if I am accumulating friends like ya'll...thank you all so much.

I'm sorry ya'll, I've had friends and family walk out of my life, simply for being honest with them...I will not do that to ya'll...please forgive me for the drama.

Must be menopause settin in...heheheh
:slap:
EZ
Coz


ps- Syxx...hit me with the fish, I deserve it!

pps- Tee, if you read this shit just shut ya fukkin face, ya fukkin beach bum!!!

Tybris
06-17-2002, 10:55 PM
In the timeless journey we all want more than what we've become. So much yet to see, left to do. The time we thought we had when we were young, seems to have slipped away. So we go looking to do all the things we never did and always said we would. Travel the world, eating exotic foods, climbing Mt. Everest. But even in all the greatest of adventures there is no greater measure of what we have accomplished than the lives we have all touched, changed, shared, and the friendships and love of those around us. It's not where you've been you'll think about when you go..it's who was there to see you off.

sdldawn
06-18-2002, 02:24 AM
Eye like u Coz, and respect u alot man.. eye hope u hang around here.. eye dont think anyone hangs "As Much" as we have around here.. but life has winding roads to it.. we come back around that corner eventually...

eye hope everyone stays around here, eye dig the vibe in this place..

Louis85
06-18-2002, 09:44 AM
Coz,

Dude, I know EXACTLY how you felt when you first posted this message, believe me! I have spent my whole life wondering why I wasn't "playing with someone my own age!" I am the type of guy who has ALWAYS felt out of place, 24/7, where I grew up, the schools I went to, the job I work at, the family I belong to. The one thing I learned is that: a sense of belonging has to come from within. You are/were struggling with this idea.

I don't know whether I was the guy you were talking about in your first post, being that I will be 35 in a couple months, but if I were that guy, I will admit that sometimes I reply to post and sometimes I purposely don't. Really, like everything else in my life, that decision is based on mood.

As for the guys on the forum, I can tell that they look up to you and respect your sense of humor, your knowledge of the music biz, and your knowledge of history. I know I certainly do. I hope by now all the replies have convinced you that you do belong here. And as for missing something by always posting here, I doubt if you really are. You sound like a good family man and this place provides a different spin on your routine.

Anyway, I hope you continue to post here and ignore the age difference nonsense. As my grandmother always says, "Age ain't nothin' but a number!" (and she should know, she's 88 ) Everyone here brings something special to the forum: Deity, Lisa, Frek, Ty, Syxx, Tim, Hax, Chief, Elizabeth, Foxy, Thaprince, Be, etc. Your contribution fits right in with the mix. If you enjoy being here, please stay. Maybe that guy who is six years younger looks up to you. I know I do.

Louis85

Cozmo D
06-18-2002, 11:51 AM
Yeah Louis, you're the guy I was talkin' about, tho for some reason I remembered you being 36 instead of 34, so it's an 8 year difference...dammit!!! heheheh

Thanx alot for all that you've said man...it means the world to me...along with what everyone else has posted.

Thanx again ya'll!
Coz

SaintHax
06-18-2002, 11:59 AM
ok well I'm not gonna paint your steps now since everything seems to be cool

Louis85
06-18-2002, 02:13 PM
Coz,

Yo playa, it was my pleasure to offer a few words. I hope they helped your view of this whole thing. If you ever need to talk "man to man" (whatever the hell that means), e-mail me here and we can set up a time to chat or something.

Another reason I don't always reply to forum messages, cause I don't always keep up with the young crowd's music, people, celebrities etc. So your original post really hit home. (I wish I would have been the first to reply to your post). Sometimes it best for me to just read and learn. So don't feel alienated man. You fit this forum perfectly. Everyone likes, respects and looks up to you. (and wants you to paint those damn steps!)

You gave me words of encouragement last year that helped me. I am merely returning the favor. Peace bro.

Louis85

P.s. All this "stuff" might make me reconsider my title.

fd
06-18-2002, 05:00 PM
Damn dont be scaring us like that coz!!!! :sad: :sad:
You know age dont mean nothing in this place, look at me a 19 year old english bumpkin and i manage.
aint nobody thinkin your too old or whatever man, we all look up to you and think your cool.
Thats for real , this place just wouldnt be the same without you around and i cant think of one person that wouldnt agree.
So please dont leave us!!!, who else can I share porn with????
C'mon dog, do it for the PORN!!!!!!


:rock: :rock: :rock:

sdldawn
06-19-2002, 01:59 AM
hehe, eye dont care how old anyone is here.. eye dig everyone in this joint.. eye never bother 2 look (or wonder) how old anyone is.. its just a number, that is an ILLusion.. thats all dude:)

Foxy11
06-19-2002, 11:20 AM
I haven't really been here very long or really know everyone very well, but Coz you seem really cool, and I enjoy reading your posts. I would hate to see you or anyone else here for that matter leave. I think everyone contributes in their own way and if anyone were to just up and disappear they would be missed.

ChrisLDog
06-19-2002, 11:59 AM
Yaaay! Coz is staying! I better get into the voting both for the Infinite Dedication album so he doesn't reconsider....


Glad your staying, man. You always seem to even the place out when people are getting too excited or too down. That's a valuable skill here when people are always battling about veganism or feeling run down about their lives. It's people like you that make this forum a safe place for people to talk about their very personal parts of their lives. By giving your advice and telling your experiences, your teaching us. And as some famous quote goes (I don't remember who said it) "The best way to learn (and/or grow) is to teach. And for that, thanks.

Peace.


P.S. Is that a coherent paragraph? I hate proof reading.

Cozmo D
06-19-2002, 12:39 PM
Thanks again everyone...Ya'll know how to make a body feel wanted. :)

Louis, I feel ya man. I ran out and bought Portishead's Dummy album and I'm listenin to it goin Wut Da Fukk!!?? :rofl:

Thanx for bein there for me ya'll!!!

Now if Will Smith would release that cut with the interpolation of Jam On It as a single all would be right with the world...heheheh :thumup:

DJ Detroit Butcher
06-20-2002, 03:46 AM
Wow. I missed the whole thing cuz my comp has been down for the last few days, and it looks like the matter has already been settled, but let me put my three cents in anyway.

Coz. You seem to be the voice of wisdom around here, the elder, if you will. I can understand completely your feelings about not being a fan and not wanting to stick around as that being one of the reasons. But this board seems to be less of a pm dawn fan place, and more of a virtual gathering of like minded people. I like that. Nobody should base their whole existance around a website tho. Go out there, make some friends. But please come back here cuz I know there's folks here who got love for ya. Of course whatever drama you have at home comes first, don't be silly! alls i'm saying, albeit a bit late is I don't know of anyone who wishes you'd carry your old ass home... I hope I worded that right.

Whatever. Keep on keepin on...

Louis85
06-20-2002, 12:00 PM
I don't know of anyone who wishes you'd carry your old ass home... I hope I worded that right.

Whatever. Keep on keepin on...

:rofl: :rofl:

frEk
06-20-2002, 01:24 PM
Tee, if you read this shit just shut ya fukkin face, ya fukkin beach bum!!!

[b]<span style='color:black'>yo for some reazon i can see T tellin coz'z wifey bout this n sayin "ya should a seen them, NOOOO!!!!!! MISSA COZMO DEEEEEEE!!!!! DON'T LEAVE US MISSA COZMO DEEEE!!!!! IN YO IN-FINE-ITE WISDOM" and wifey just clownin tha shit outta him, hahahahahaha</span>

Cozmo D
06-20-2002, 01:41 PM
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

You know that shit!!! Dammit!!!

Waitaminnit...I know what to do...

HEY HAX!...BAN AL "T"!!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Etherspin
06-20-2002, 05:31 PM
shite .. this sucks, coz man just read the orginal post.. RE the section where u mentioned feeling out of place, just a point for ya its the diversity from people such as urself that makes me feel welcome here..

Elizabeth
06-21-2002, 01:06 AM
COZ!
First off, I apologize for not being one of the original people to discourage you from leaving. I have not been able to get online ...
As for your relevance though-- god, man, what a relief to find you have changed your mind. Relevant? God, sometimes you are the reason and motivation for me even visiting the forum. Especially if I feel discouraged or unloved.
one of the only people who seems to truly like Me.
you are just too damn relevant. thank you for not taking a special friend from me.
much love forever,
Elizabeth

Cozmo D
06-21-2002, 06:27 AM
Elizabeth...thank you so much for these very kind and loving words...
I know that you know how much they and you mean to me. :)

Sweet, I really think though that you are misreading the feelings of just about everyone here. I know that you are genuinely liked...in fact loved by all of us en masse. Please don't take peoples sometimes wayward sense of humor to be anything but that, we love you and we respect you.

You have long been our "Wendy" to us "Lost Boys". :) :) :)

EZ
Coz



ps- That's a Peter Pan reference for those of you who don't know (probably most of ya...heheheh)

Elizabeth
06-21-2002, 09:50 AM
Well... you're right. I believe the people here like me a lot... I guess I'm just really depressive as a person. Sorry for bleeding all of that onto this topic!
back to the subject... thank you.
love,
"Wendy"


ps-- I'm proud to be Wendy.

Be
06-23-2002, 06:57 AM
ahhh....he's back 2 normal...awesome :rock:




:cool:
b

filmwizdaddy
06-23-2002, 03:45 PM
I wish i had a wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :slap:

Cozmo D
06-23-2002, 09:27 PM
ahhh....he's back 2 normal...awesome


Yeah, it got a bit hairy there for a moment...might have been the thought of that ole #43 barrelin down on me, I don't know.

Funny though, how things can swing on a dime...'cause I'M FLYIN NOW BAAAABY!!! :cool:

Hero1
06-23-2002, 09:38 PM
wayward sense of humour..u calling me out boy ! :cuss: :cuss: :cuss:



:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Louis85
06-24-2002, 09:12 AM
ahhh....he's back 2 normal...awesome


Yeah, it got a bit hairy there for a moment...might have been the thought of that ole #43 barrelin down on me, I don't know.

Funny though, how things can swing on a dime...'cause I'M FLYIN NOW BAAAABY!!! :cool:

Save that little speech about fitting in. I'll be turning the big 35 soon, I might need it. Biorthymically, you must ride those emotional peaks and valleys.

:weird:

Cozmo D
06-24-2002, 01:13 PM
Don't worry Louis, I got your back.

Heheheh...since we're gonna roll with our days the same week this year(you're Monday, I'm Friday), we gotta look out for each other Bro!

Ya'll may have 2 grumpy ass black men startin shit around here the first full week of August...ya'll betta circle your calendars...hahahah!!!

Chief
06-24-2002, 06:22 PM
so whos walter mathaw, and whos jack lemond......hahahahaha cuz i want to be the crazy ol man.....cumoniwannalayya......imakindakinky.... :rofl: :rofl:

Louis85
06-24-2002, 10:52 PM
Don't worry Louis, I got your back.

Heheheh...since we're gonna roll with our days the same week this year(you're Monday, I'm Friday), we gotta look out for each other Bro!

Ya'll may have 2 grumpy ass black men startin shit around here the first full week of August...ya'll betta circle your calendars...hahahah!!!

[size=18]AND YOU KNOW THAT'S RIGHT!!!

:moon:

Cozmo D
06-25-2002, 01:18 AM
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Hero1
06-25-2002, 01:55 AM
coz and louis in



grumpy old black men



comin july 4!!

Hero1
11-20-2004, 04:02 AM
i thought bumpin this up would make coz feel better :kekeke:

Cozmo D
11-20-2004, 12:12 PM
Originally posted by HieroHero@Nov 20 2004, 03:02 AM
i thought bumpin this up would make coz feel better :kekeke:
Jeez...thanx Tim. :kekeke:

BigRed82
11-21-2004, 03:53 AM
Coz man, don't leave. It definitely wouldn't be the same here. Your wit and insight to everything would be really missed and like I said, it would be a completely different forum without you. Please think some more into this.

Cozmo D
11-21-2004, 04:12 AM
Originally posted by BigRed82@Nov 21 2004, 02:53 AM
Coz man, don't leave. It definitely wouldn't be the same here. Your wit and insight to everything would be really missed and like I said, it would be a completely different forum without you. Please think some more into this.
Ummm, Red? This thread is from over 2 years ago. :roll:
Thanx though bro, I appreciate it. :)

BTW, where da hell you been? :toetap: :wavey:

Etherspin
11-21-2004, 07:20 AM
Originally posted by BigRed82@Nov 21 2004, 07:53 AM
Coz man, don't leave. It definitely wouldn't be the same here. Your wit and insight to everything would be really missed and like I said, it would be a completely different forum without you. Please think some more into this.
naaah Coz, dont be swayed by him, You should definately go, you are 100% correct ... :sadwave: :ughthumb: :itch: :toetap:

Chukwuka
11-23-2004, 01:32 PM
GIT!