my dad died at about 2:45am today

[SaintHax]

I got called at work (night shift) saying he collapsed, he had surgery about a week ago to remove a cyst on his pancreas and they removed his spleen and gall bladder...he hasn't been feeling well since that but appeared to be recovering and was here at home so...

I'm still not sure how to feel, a bit dazed and confused I guess, then again you expect this to happen at some point but you never feel the feeling till it happens...I'm not gonna go cry my eyes out since it's pointless and doesn't solve anything, but I think I will go ponder what I'm feeling right now and try to understand it. It's defiantly a weird feeling, happy that he's not in pain nor in a worn out body, sad that I won't see him everyday like I used to.

I don't really need the "I'm sorry for your loss" stuff...doesn't change anything I just figured I could unload a bit by telling someone.

Got a loved one? tell them you love them before it’s too late...it's a simple thing to say :happysad:

[LumtheMad]

I am sorry to hear of your loss. Great advice on the telling them you love them part however. My dad and i say that to each other more often now. It's a gift to have loving parents ,friends or family. Cherish them while you can. Again....i feel for your loss..

[Harmeister]

My sympathies are with you, man. My dad has had three heart attacks and is in poor health as well. The last time he came to visit both my wife and I had the feeling that it would be the last time we saw him.

[Louis85]

Hax man, you have my deepest sympathy. I attended three funerals of very close people this winter and I kinda know what you are going thru. Be as strong as you can and take one day at a time. :sad:

[Chief]

my prayers for you and your family man...seriously...

[Be]

damn bro...sorry to hear that...yo...pm me ya address...maybe me & jarett will come check you on our way back from FLA.

[Deity]

Hax, my condolences to you at your time of loss...just know that if you need anyone, that we're here for you.

[SaintHax]

well I got some sleep and no it isn't a dream...it's about as real as it gets...I'm still clueless on this feeling thing...I spent some time with my dad's body before I left the hospital and said what I needed to say to him so it’s not like a total loss or anything…it’s just weird

and yeah I know you guys got my back…thanks

[syxxpm]

my deepest sympathies and condolences to you man.....if you ever need anyone ...i got your back too.... :happysad:

[Cozmo D]

Damm...sorry for your loss Jay.

Not sure if this will help, but when my grandmother died (who I loved with all my heart) I had a similar feeling. I guess all these years later I feel it's like she's still walking with me, and I sum it up as that. I still dream about her from time to time, and she's always comforting or encouraging.

You know we're here man. :happysad:

[The_Kay_Dee]

My deepest condolences.

[ChrisLDog]

Damn Jason, sorry to hear that. I got you too. :sadwave:

[DJ Detroit Butcher]

oh damn hax.

my thoughts are with you and your family. even if it is an inevitable thing, that's still some harsh shit to have to deal with.

a moment of silence............................

[SaintHax]

well I just stopped by the century 21 office and told them, the owners sold us our house when we moved to GA about 10 years ago and they were our first official friends in this new town. They were telling me how he'd come in a lot and say hi and tell them what I'm up to and how proud he was of the things I've done and are doing.

So I guess all in all he was happy when he left, he saw that I was a really good model heli pilot which I practiced so hard to be, he saw that I know my computer stuff that I hammer into my head all the time, he saw that I was always trying to move forward and get somewhere even though I was getting knocked back down all the time. I made my dad proud...maybe that's why I'm not going nuts right now, I'm calm knowing that I've done stuff in his eyes that he's proud of, and that he left happy because of it.

[justafan]

It is good to hear that you are handling this as well as possible, I can't even begin to think about how I would handle a situation like this. Much love man

[Hero1]

condolenses jason ... how old was your dad?

[SaintHax]

68

[Tybris]

I can't imagine how you're feeling or what you're going through. I know people deal with things differently, but you know we are all here if you need to talk to someone. My parents split when I was 2 so I didn't spend the time I wanted to with my father, but we've always been extremely close despite it all. We have this unspoken communication, and are so much alike. A few weeks ago I got the scare of my life when he called me and told me he had just had congestive heart failure (of course for my sake he waited till AFTER he got out of the hospital :madrant: ). The thought of losing my father has always been in the back of my mind and when it nearly happened it was not an easy thing to deal with. He's never been within arms length, but knowing he's there has always been a comfort to me. I'm glad you got to say your peace, that's one thing some people don't get a chance to do.

[SaintHax]

I feel like shit... :happysad:

[Etherspin]

I'm sorry to hear this hax, my thoughts are with you, I'm glad things were good between you and him before this happened.. all the best man.. we are with you

[Chukwuka]

Yes, we are Hax!

Hold ya head...Brother...

[BigRed82]

Jason.. I'm terribly sorry for what you're going through. I can't imagine what you could be thinking about now, my prayers are with you. I've had a really close person die a few years ago but I can't empathize, it wasn't my father. I really hope you feel better soon.


Justin

[Terrick]

:sad: i'm sorry, man. i know you asked for us not to say that...

i know where you're at with the not knowing how to feel thing. Someone my family knew died a couple years ago and it was the first time i was old enough to understand it, but i still didn't know how to feel. I didn't cry, I didn't say anything..I didn't really do anything but stare blankly at the stars a lot that night. I don't know. i just hope you feel better

[SaintHax]

Well the final cause of death has been named a heart attack, but it's weird because all the things he wanted to do were done. About two weeks ago before he went in for his surgery to remove a cyst he sat down in the front yard with mom and said "I'm done, I can't do anything else" meaning everything he wanted done was finished and he's never referred to things like that in an overall sense...so it's almost like he knew.

The funeral went great, he got his military honors like he wanted and I got the flag. Then Be and JC has to top it all off by stopping by to see me.

I can honestly say things couldn't have gone better for one of the worst situations.

Thank you Be and JC, you guys topped it off for me.

[Hero1]

thats good the funeral went well .. good to hear be dropped by.. ive never seen be with such a smile on his face.. thoughts go out to you and the family again...

[Harmeister]

Be, that was totally awesome. Thanks for sticking with us and thanks for making Jason feel better. Hope the FL trip was a good one :)

And Jason, I hope that everything got the closure it needed so you can move on as I'm sure your dad would want (although I don't know either of you so I might just be pulling words out of thin air, in which case ignore the crazy red headed man) . That kind of experience probably takes a while to really sink in.

[Cozmo D]

Glad to hear that it went smoothly for you Jay...Especially the part about your pops having a feeling of content and total accomplishment. I know as a father and a husband that is the most important thing on earth to me. :)

As for Be, that's how he rolls...way to go yo! :rock:

[sdldawn]

Hey man, Im really sorry to hear about your loss, my thoughts are with you Hax.