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View Full Version : Strange chance is god fucking with me?



tinkermichael
03-18-2002, 04:03 PM
as you know I have been questioning gods control of chance and all of a sudden I get this email. what the fuck;

DR ABU AHMEED

Email: abuahmeed@weedmail.com
LAGOS NIGERIA

Sir,

URGENT AND RELIABLE BUSINESS PARTNER.

Due to the nature of this transaction, being utterly
confidential and utmost secrecy,
I must start by soliciting your strict confidence. You
have been recommended by an
associate who assured me in confidence of your ability
and reliability to prosecute
a transaction of great magnitude involving a pending
business transaction requiring
maximum confidence. We are top officials of the newly
constituted Federal Government
Contract Review Panel who are interested in importation
of goods into our country
with funds which are presently trapped in Nigeria. In
order to commence this business
we solicit your assistance to enable us transfer into
your account the said-trapped
funds. During the Regime of our immediate past Head of
State, Gen, Abdusallam Abubakar,
the government officials set up companies and awarded
themselves contracts and licences
which were not in conformity with the normal procedures
and existing regulations
for the award of such contracts and these contracts
were grossly over-invoiced in
various Ministries. The present civilian government of
Olusegun Obasanjo set up a
Contract Review Panel to scrutinize these improperly
awarded contracts and to implement
the aspect of Foreign Debt Servicing relating to the
debts owed to foreign contractors
as contained in Part H (II), Schedule (xxvii) of the
2001 Federal Budget, we have
identified a lot of inflated contract funds which are
presently floating in the Central
Bank of Nigeria. However, by virtue of our position as
civil servants and members
of this Panel, we cannot acquire this money in our
names. I have therefore, been
delegated as a matter of trust by my colleagues of the
Panel to look for an Overseas
partner into whose account we would transfer the sum of
US$28,200,000.00 (Twenty
Eight Million, Two Hundred Thousand US Dollars) We are
willing and have agreed to
compensate you with 20% of the funds for your
assistance and cooperation in the actualization
of this pending project and for providing us with a
viable foreign account into which
the said funds would be transferred, we have also
agreed that 10% of the fund would
be set aside to settle accruing taxation and all local
and foreign expenses particularly
telephone costs. It is from the remaining 70% of the
funds which is our share as
originators of the project that we wish to commence the
importation business, please
note that this transaction is 100% safe and we hope to
commence the transfer latest
in ten(10) banking days from the date of receipt of the
following information by
E-MAIL i.e, your banker’s name and address, account
number, telephone and fax number.
The above information will enable us write letters of
claim and job description respectively.
This way we will use your company’s name or your name
to apply for payments . We
are looking forward to doing business with you and
solicit your confidentiality in
this transaction. Please acknowledge the receipt of
this letter using my email address:abuahmeed@weedmail.com

I will bring you into the
complete picture of this pending
project when I have heard from you.

Yours faithfully,

DR. ABU AHMEED

Note: Please kindly quote this reference number (AA/01)
in your response and e-mail
to the e-mail address indicated above:abuahmeed@weedmail.com


Now what am I soposed to think about this. My first thought is is'nt this Illegal the second thought is Next time I ask god for help I better be more specific. lol

much love
Michael

SaintHax
03-18-2002, 04:46 PM
Next time I ask god for help I better be more specific


ROTFLMAO :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :laugh: :laugh:

cabotb
03-18-2002, 05:25 PM
It's most likely a hoax. If for some strange reason it isn't, I'd be wary of it. First, remember that the U.S. government is freezing terrorist assets all around the globe. If these guys are getting "frozen" then it's something to avoid. Second, anyone who asks you for your bank account number in their first correspondence with you is someone to DEFINITELY avoid!

Cozmo D
03-18-2002, 06:24 PM
Michael,

That's a known con that is being run out of Nigeria and Liberia. Watch your wallet!

EZ
Coz

tinkermichael
03-18-2002, 07:22 PM
I know guys but it is pretty weird huh? Plus there is nouthing in my bank account. Plus if it was real they would probally go through a professional money laundriers you know the mob or some finance people I have friends in the mortgage business and that is one shady industry.

thanks for looking out but I just wanted to share the weird email.

much love
Michael

Etherspin
03-19-2002, 07:55 AM
is god being ironic?? I received this email today....

FREE ***** ENLARGEMENT KIT from www.naturalextensions.com
- Do you crave a monster **** to **** the ***s with ?
.....

strange....


:weird: :weird: :weird:

BWAAAAAHAAAAHAAAHAA....


4give.. me ... im in a weird mood as im about 2 leave the country...

tinkermichael
03-22-2002, 11:22 PM
after emailing Him back and telling them that it sounded like money laundriering. this is what I got back.

Dear Russell
Thank you very much for your response to my letter.
An associates who work with the bilateral chamber of commerce and industries
gave me your contact.i told him i needed a foreign partner to do business with
but never told him the nature of business because of the confidential nature .
the funds are going to be transfered to your account in the form of a contract
payment and shall be declared as investment funds. it has nothing to do with
money laundering.all modalities have been worked out to effect the transfer.
below is the details of the transaction:
Having the firm belief that we can count on your total support and
confidentiality, we would proceed without any
reservation to bring you into the complete picture of
the pending project.
Before doing this, we would like
to reiterate the importance of confidentiality, as we
are career civil servants still in active service and
would not like our names to be brought to the odium
or
our long tenure in office jeopardized. More so the
gains of the pending project can only be enjoyed by
us
all (including you) after the transfer and we have
disbursed the funds with absolute peace of mind
knowing that the project and the transfer itself is
known to we the partners (+you) alone. You can
therefore understand why we are hammering on the
importance of confidentiality, as a non-religious
observance of this basic essential, is the only thing
capable of importing any risk to this project which
under our modalities is 100% risk free once we get
total cooperation from you. On our part, we
understand
the importance of this and cannot perform less in
this
regard. We therefore crave your indulgence in this
and
expect same from us, being 100% confidentiality about
the affairs of this project, please do not let us
down. Your ability to follow my instructions
strictly,
promptly and accordingly as the originator will make
us accomplish this transfer within 10-14 working days
totally risk free and hitch free. This is our
guarantee to you as we recognize the magnitude of
trust involved in availing us your facilities for
this
project. We also acknowledge the corresponding
responsibility, which is imposed on us the
originators
of this project to ensure that neither your name nor
the name of your company is brought to disrepute by
reason of rendering assistance. Be rest assured that
we know what we are doing and would not have engaged
in it, if we were not absolutely confident about
success in all it’s ramifications.
With due recourse to the sensitive positions we
occupy
in the government strata of our country, you can be
rest assured over the manner in which we intend to
carry out this transaction. Moreover we intend to
carry out this transaction within the rules of both
international and local laws as such the issue of
legality can safely be put aside.
Our perfected modalities for the transfer of this
funds is for the transfer to be made in the capacity
of a contract payment to your company. To this
effect
I shall fax to you, on receipt of your telephone and
fax number a claims form issued by the Federal
Ministry of Power & Steel(FMPS) which you shall fill
as the beneficiary and fax back to us
promptly.Immediately we receive the duly filled out
Claims Form from you, I shall incorporate and
register
you company’s name. Thereafter, we at the Contract
Review Panel shall officially validate the payment
and pass your file to all other approving Ministries
for due approval. Therefore, the official position
would be that your company executed the contract
046/FMPS/WR-PH/99 for the FMPS for which it was
entitled to payment of US$28,200,000.00 which is the
contract price The entire process of the fund release
and transfer would be totally officialized as
obtained
in ordinary cases of contract payment transfer by the
Central Bank of Nigeria(CBN).
For obvious reasons, we cannot afford to bring our
70% share back to our country in cash form. We intend
to use part of it for the purchase of agricultural
machinery and petroleum prospecting equipment to be
exported to our country. We welcome any advice you
can
render on other viable areas of investments in your
country, which will be beneficial to us (the
originators). In addition to your 20%of the funds,
which solely belong to you, any expenses incurred by
you will be reimbursed to you after the transfer.
This
will be done from the 10% which we agreed will be
used
for settling all expenses incurred in the course of
bringing this project to a100% risk free>
success(Taxes
and Phone bills inclusive).After all expenses have
been settled from this 10%,what is left belongs to
us.
We count very much on your cooperation and support.
Please remember that confidentiality must be our
watchword as the advantage accruable to us from
strict
compliance with it can never be over-emphasized.
Advice in your return mail if your receiving line is
confidential enough for the purpose of this
transaction. If not please make arrangement for an
alternative one. In the interest of bolstering
confidentiality, we advise that you should for now
stall
whatever discussion you may wish to have with your
bankers in respect of your expectation of the funds.
I await your urgent response to enable us commence
the
project as time is of equal essence as
confidentiality. Please call me on receipt of this
message .
My telephone number is 234 –8023210648
Best Regards.
Dr. Abu Ahmeed


Hum Maybe I can talk my broke friend in to it just in case. LOL :poke:

Cozmo D
03-23-2002, 04:47 PM
It's not money laundering, it's a scam...a con...a flim-flam.

The only money they'll be laundering is yours...heheheheh.

EZ
Coz

Hero1
03-23-2002, 05:01 PM
a good ol flim flam

tinkermichael
03-23-2002, 08:30 PM
how would it be a scam if I had no money in the account. But a very scary thing anyway.

question marks talk to me even more.

Michael

Cozmo D
03-23-2002, 09:34 PM
They don't know if you have any money or not. That's the whole idea, it's they're way of finding out, and getting your money if you do. Believe me Michael, this scam is well known. In fact, somebody else tried the same crap on me Wednesday.

Here it is:

Dear friend,

I propose to you based on the facts that I believe
that it is one day one gets to know each other either
by correspondence or by person although we have not
met before.

To be precise, I am DAVID MONPOLA, a manager of
bills/exchange at the Foreign Remittance Department of
Amalgamated Bank of South Africa Limited (ABSA). In
my department, we discovered an abandoned sum of US$
21.5 m (Twenty one Million five Hundred Thousand
United States Dollars only) in an account that
belonged to one of our foreign customers who died
along with his entire family on November, 1994 in a
ghastly plane crash. Since we got information about
his death, we have been expecting his next of kin to
come over and claim his money because we cannot
release it unless somebody applied for it as next of
kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our
banking guidelines.

Unfortunately, to no avail, nobody has come forward to
claim the sum. Therefore upon this discovery I and
other officials in the department decided to
establish a cordial business relationship with you,
hence my contacting you. We want to purportedly
present your good self as the next of kin or relation
of the deceased, so that we can release the fund into
your account for safety and subsequent disbursement
since nobody is coming for it and again we do not
want this money to go into the Government Account as
unclaimed bill. The Banking Law and Guidelines here
stipulates that any account abandoned or dormant for
a period of some years is subject to closure and all
money contained therein will be forfeited to the
Government Treasury Account. Now it is being
stipulated that the above sum will be transferred
into Government Account as unclaimed Fund on or
before June 2002.The reason behind our requesting you
to purportedly your good self as next of kin is
occasioned by the fact that the deceased was a
foreigner. Mode of sharing after the successful
completion of the transfer, my colleagues and I will
visit your country for disbursement. For the role you
will be expected to play a whole exercise, we have
agreed to give you Twenty Percent (20%) of the total
sum and 80% will be kept for my colleagues and I in
your account for investment purposes in your country
as may be agreed by the transacting parties.

In support of the aforementioned therefore you are
urged to reply this letter indicating your readiness
and interest to participate in the business. After
receiving your reply, you will be communicated to with
the exact steps to take. I quite believe that you
will protect our interest by keeping this business
top secret and confidential. Your interest will be
equally protected as we must maintain maximum
confidentiality. Trusting to hear from you quickly
through my e-mail or you can call me on my
confidential number 871 762 534410. I count on your
earliest response.

Thanks indeed for your anticipated co-operation and
best regards to you and your family.
MR.DAVID MONPOLA


Look Familiar?

EZ
Coz

SaintHax
10-05-2003, 01:36 AM
God hasn't sent me one of these spams in about 3 weeks...I'm getting worried

STANLEY C. TAYLOR
10-05-2003, 03:13 AM
The old "Send some poor sap a letter and make them think that it's God's will so they will be stupid enough to send money for a worthy cause" trick. :cuss:

And remember. You must read the above in your best Maxwell Smart impression otherwise it won't make sense.

Rumi_Philosophie
10-05-2003, 12:44 PM
Well if He is then just lay there and take it up the ass like a man. Besided no one can give as good a fuck as God. :poke:

DJ Detroit Butcher
10-05-2003, 02:41 PM
Yeah I got one of those at my band's email address a while back. Knowing from jump it was a scam, I decided to see how far I could fuck with them.

DJ Detroit Butcher
10-05-2003, 02:41 PM
mickon gezi wrote:

FROM MICKON GEZI
SUITE 205 RANDBURG
JOHANESBURG SOUTH AFRICA
E-mickongezi2001zu@yahoo.co.uk

Dear Joyeux,

My name is Mr MICKON GEZI, the elder son of Mr.DENNIS
GEZI of Zimbabwe. It might be a surprise toyou where I
got your contact address,
I got it from South African Chamber of Commerce.
During thecurrent crises against the farmers of
Zimbabwe by thesupporters of our President Robert
Mugabe to claim allthe white owned farms in our
country, he ordered allthe white farmers to surrender
their farms to hisparty members and their followers.

My father was one of the best farmers in the
countryand knowing that he did not support the
presidentíspolitical ideology, the presidentís
supporters invadedmy fatherís farm burnt down
everything, shot him andas a result of the wounds
sustained, he became sickand died after two days. And
after his death, I withmy younger Brother decided to
move out of Zimbabwe forthe safety of our lives to
South-Africa.BUT, before he died HE WROTE HIS WILL,
which reads"(MY BELOVEED SON ,I WISH TO DRAW YOUR
ATTENTION TOTHE SUM OF ($25,000,000=00). MILLION U.S
DOLLARS WHICHI DEPOSITED IN A BOX WITH A SECURITY
COMPANY INJOHANNESBURG (SOUTH-AFRICA). IN CASE OF MY
ABSENCE ONEARTH CAUSED BY DEATH ONLY". You should
solicit forreliable foreign partner to assist you to
transferthis money out of South Africa for investment
purpose.I deposited the money in your name and it can
beclaimed by you alone with the deposit code.
yourmother has all the documents. Take good care of
yourmother and brother."From the above, you will
understand that the lives andfuture of my family
depends on this money as much, Iwill be very grateful
if you can assist us. I with myyounger brother are
now living in South-Africa asPOLITICAL ASYLUM SEEKERS
and the financial law ofSOUTH-AFRICA does not allow
ASYLUM SEEKERS certainfinancial rights to such huge
amount of money .In viewof this, I cannot invest this
money in South-Africa,hence I am asking you to assist
me transfer this moneyout of South-Africa for
investment purposes. For yourefforts, I am prepared to
offer you 25% of the totalfund, while 5% will be set
aside for local andinternational expenses and 70% will
be kept for me andmy family .Finally modalities on how
the transfer will be donewill be conveyed to you once
we establish trust andconfidence between ourselves.
Looking forward to yoururgent reply .For detailed
information. NOTE: THE KEY WORD TO THIS TRANSACTION
IS ABSOLUTECONFIDENTIALITY AND SECRECY. THIS
TRANSACTION IS 100%RISK FREE. YOUR URGENT RESPONSE
WILL BE HIGHLYAPPRECIATED.
MY TELEPHONE
27-83-420-1658.
BEST REGARDS,
MICKON GEZI (FOR THE FAMILY

DJ Detroit Butcher
10-05-2003, 02:42 PM
Dear mickon,

Of course I'll help! Just tell me what you need. I've been in a similar situation myself and am more than happy to help out in any way that I can. You say you got my email address from the South African Chamber of Commerce? That's interesting, my uncle works there. I'm not sure what he does, but he's pretty high up in the organization. For that matter, I'm pretty high myself right now off some South African Cannibus Sativa. But no worries. Between the two of us, with my uncle's help I'm sure we can find a way to get your money fast. E-mail me back ASAP for further instructions. Honestly, I didn't know what to expect when my uncle told me he was referring someone to me for a matter of secrecy and importance! Not to mention confidentiality! Those are my specialties. I'm known in this area as "the problem solver", which name was given to me by another uncle of mine, who runs a casino in Las Vegas. But we shall not speak about that. The important thing here is, my money, I mean your money. We can run an efficient operation to safely transport your funds into a safe account, and I'll need my 10% fee immediately after that. You see, my mother is very, very ill and she need this crazy operation which your generous offer will pay for. It is the opportunity we have all been waiting for! Write back soon, as she does not have much longer to hold on! You should have seen her face light up when I told her help was on the way. She was a little concerned when I told her I could not divulge where the money was coming from, but we are all relieved nonetheless. Praise Jah! For he has answered my prayers at last! If there's any left over, I'll be donating it to the DBS foundation. You have heard of the DBS, no? It's an organization ran by the honorable Nicholas Santoro and Samuel Rothstein. They do wonderful work in the desert. I'll admit tho, it's kind of odd that my uncle would give you this particular address to contact me at, as joyeuxhastieexperience@yahoo.com is my business address. I manage a blues band here, and this is their fan club address. So, in addition to helping you with your problem, I've also signed you up for the Joyeux Hastie Experience mailing list, where you'll recieve weekly updates on motown's best blues band. Have you visited our website? http://www.soundclick.com/joyeuxhastieexperience ... The band just released their 5th album, entitled "Stashbox", and you can download the entire release for free! This offer expires 25 October 2002. The following day, on 26 October 2002, we will begin uploading tracks from their forthcoming double LP entitled "you know damn well that you didn't get my address from the south african chamber of commerce", featuring the singles "get off my dick with that bullshit" and "i bet you thought you found a sucker". Limited edition includes bonus tracks "how many people have you tried to scam" and "did you know this sort of thing is illegal" ... Yes, the new album from Joyeux Hastie Experience is less than two months away! Guest stars on the album include Trey Johnson from The Kind, and MC A-ROC from the hip hop group The Shogunauts. A-ROC was a founding member of Eminem's first group Bassmint, and is the only member who does not get props in the thousands of magazine, online and newspaper articles examining Eminem's early days. Shame too, because besides Quaye Nuff, A-ROC is the most talented member of Eminem's old posse, and Quaye is on lock down anyway. ROC has been performing with D-12 at shows in the area in Eminem's absence while he goes off to make a movie, which prominately features local magazine Jam Rag. Speaking of Jam Rag, it's a good thing that John Lennon's no longer with us, as the name Jam Rag is taken from one of his old songs. Speaking of Jam, don't you hate the way it clumps up on the bread? Bread, incidentally, is not only the world's leading ingredient in sandwich filling holders, but is also a great lite-rock band from the seventies. Boy George, who used to be lead singer for Culture Club, covered one of their songs called "everything I own" which is probably what you hope to take me for in this scam of yours. I dare say Boy George's version of the song surpasses the original, but it is best noted that Boy George's finest vocal performance lies not on one of his own recordings, but with a duet that appeared on PM DAWN's second LP "the bliss album" called "more than likely". Damn that man can sing.

Write back right away so we can get things taken care of delicately,

Joyeux

DJ Detroit Butcher
10-05-2003, 02:42 PM
Dear Joyeux,
The transaction is going to be quite easy as my lawyer
has already made the necessary contact in the Reserve
Bank here in South Africa to transfer the money
without problems. The fund has been released to the
Reserve Bank, we canít touch the money because it is
insured.
Please once the money gets to your account, I will fly
directly to your country to finalise everything and
you
must send money to my lawyer for his fees.


Thank you,
Mr mickon gezi[for the family].

DJ Detroit Butcher
10-05-2003, 02:43 PM
NOTE: This one is mostly me cursing him out; feel free to skip it but the funny part is their response below....

Dear Mickon,

Are you a fucking idiot? I'm not sending you my account number or anything else? I don't know how many people have fallen for this scam, but I won't be one of them. Didn't I tell you that my uncle works for your govennment? He has informed me that you have ripped people off for millions of dollars already, but through the magic of e-mail tracing, you have finally been found. You better fucking run, my dim-witted friend, they are closing in on you fast. I don't know why I'm even bothering to warn you, as I'm sure you don't speak english, and you haven't been reading my e-mails. I tried so hard to be nice about this, and have a laugh about it, and let you down easy, I figured anyone with half a brain and even semi decent english skills would understand. So let me spell it out to you in simple terms.



NO I WILL NOT HELP YOU

NO I WILL NOT SEND YOU MY BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER AND INFO

NO I WILL NOT BE ANOTHER VICTIM OF YOUR LIES

NO I WILL FUCKING NOT PAY YOUR LAWYER ANYTHING

NO I WILL NOT SEND YOU COPIES OF MY PASS PORT

NO I WILL NOT GIVE YOU MY ADDRESS AND PHONE NUMBER

NO I DO NOT BELIEVE A WORD OF YOUR E-MAILS

YES I KNOW YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO RIP ME OFF FOR A LOT OF MONEY

YES I HAVE FORWARDED YOUR ADDRESS TO THE POLICE

YES YOU ARE GOING TO JAIL

YES YOU ARE FUCKING STUPID.

NO YOU SHALL NOT GET A DIME OF MY MONEY

YOU AND YOUR LAWYER CAN GO FUCK YOURSELVES.

IS YOUR MOTHER HAPPY ABOUT WHAT YOU DO?

OR IS SHE LIKE "HELL YES MICKON GO FOOL MORE AMERICANS OUT OF THEIR MONEY?

I BET YOU THINK ALL AMERICANS ARE STUPID. WE ARE ALL NOT. AT LEAST I'M NOT. I BET YOU THOUGHT YOU FOUND ANOTHER SUCKER! HA HA HA HA HA YOU FUCKING FOOL.

HOW DID YOU GET MY ADDRESS ANYWAY?

E-MAIL AND FAX LINES ARE NOT SECURE. THEY CAN BE INTERCEPTED. DID YOU KNOW YOU HAVE BEEN BEING WATCHED FOR MONTHS NOW?

DID YOU KNOW THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATIONS HAS TRACED THIS E-MAIL?

DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE IS NO "NATIONAL BANK OF NORTH AMERICA"?

DID YOU KNOW I'M LOOKING AT YOU RIGHT NOW? THAT'S A NICE SHIRT YOU'RE WEARING, IT'S VERY GREY AND QUITE COTTONY.

SOMETHING TELLS ME YOU ARE LOOKING AT THIS AND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHERE MY INFO IS SINCE YOU CAN'T READ ENGLISH ANYWAY. SO HERE'S SOME SHIT FOR YA.

ACCOUNT 420-24-7-666-215-99999999999999999999

BANK OF GOFUCKYERSELF

NAME ON ACCOUNT: CHARLES U. FARLEY

NOW WHAT MOTHERFUCKER? THOUGHT YOU HAD ME AT THE LAST SECOND DIDN'T YOU? FUCK YOU! YOU FUCKING PARASITE!!!! THE SHIT I SENT YOU LAST WEEK, I TOLD YOU THAT I WASN'T FALLING FOR YOUR SCAM, AND I DIDN'T WANT TO HELP YOU, AND YOU STILL WROTE BACK SAYING IT'S ALL BEEN TAKEN CARE OF AND ALL YOU NEED IS MY INFO. PROVING TO ME THAT YOU DIDN'T EVEN READ THE SHIT. I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE HOW STUPID SOMEONE WOULD HAVE TO BE TO FALL FOR THIS SHIT. FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DJ Detroit Butcher
10-05-2003, 02:43 PM
Dear Joyeux,

Thank you so much for your last mail, I just finished
having a meeting with my lawyer and I am glad to tell
you we have good news. Having communicated with you
for quite sometime , I believe I have every reason to
trust you.
You donít need to come to Johannesburg any longer,
kindly just send me your account number,account name,
passport number/ passport copy, swift code the Bank
name/ address and your personal phone and fax numbers.
The money would now be transferred directly to you
through an affiliate Bank of the North America.
Thank you,
Mr mickon gezi[for the family].


Note ,your to send the detail directly to my lawyers
office fax line +27-83-345-5610

Cozmo D
10-05-2003, 08:23 PM
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Elizabeth
10-10-2003, 05:13 PM
Hey Michael..

this is actually a fairly well-known con artist scam letter that has been given to many people and has circled the internet for a while now. Someone out there thinks you're a punk. :umm:

love ya
Elizabeth