Heartbroken Spidey

[spidey]

This sucks!!! It's been almost six months since my girlfriend left me and I'm still haven't gotten completley over her. Do you guys have any ideas as to how I can get on with my life. This really hurts like hell! :cuss:

Brandon (spidey)

[Mistress M]

Hmmm...usually what I do is start dating someone else...but then again, looking at my relationship history, perhaps this is not such a good idea...

Ok! One time when my boyfriend broke up with me, I started like hiking and stuff. Just took time to be by myself, get back into nature, tax my body with rock climbing...and I could make up imaginary scenarios for myself like I did when I was a kid: like I have to get to the castle to destroy the skeksis, or something...that really took my mind of of stuff and was really fun, and after I few weeks I felt alot better...

Ok so it's kind of lame, but it's the only advice I got... :donno:

[atma]

you could always try stalking her.

[dreamrib]

I'd have to say I agree with Mistress, B! You have to find yourself a new focus, mindset. I don't think there is any way to just get over someone. If we knew that a LOT of people would be a lot of happier!! you just have to find something else to put your energy into & at some point she won't be on the front burner anymore. I hate when people feed you it will get better in time,etc lines because we know it doesn't make you feel any better.

[Terrick]

you could always try stalking her.

SECOND

[dreamrib]

Lol you guys know someone somewhere is writing your names in the government down for saying that, haha.

[Hero1]

as coz once said... prostitutes!!

[Hero1]

or was that porn?

[Cozmo D]

Ummm...I don't believe I ever said either in this situation, I know I never, EVER, said prostitutes. :umm:

I would reccomend that you try to go out and have as good a time as possible...preferrably with as much of the opposite sex as possible...in just about as freaky a way as possible...heheheheh. :mrgreen:

But then again, since at last count I remember that you were a virgin...and I've never been quite sure of your reason for being so, this may NOT be the advice for you...especially considering your hatred for porn (and I presume other things of a freaky sexual nature).

This is why I have stayed quiet in this thread up until this point. :cool:

[Hero1]

sorry i was trying to remember that discussion with spidey from the old message board..a long time ago in a galaxy far far away... wasnt it abt porn?

[Cozmo D]

Yeah, that's the 1 I remember too, he hates porn...and he was a virgin at the time.

[spidey]

well....one thing has changed because of this girl..and I stress the word "girl"...and it isn't the porn issue....

[spidey]

and I just don't see any point to porn

[Mistress M]

good for you spidey!! porn is lame -- don't people have imaginations anymore? I come up with way better things in my head (and way hotter guys -- what is up with the ugly, fat, hairy-in-ALL-the-wrong-places guys in porn? )



(besides all my feminist issues with porn, which I will keep to myself )

[Cozmo D]

and I just don't see any point to porn

Hmmm...not quite as strong as a "hatred" anymore.:cool:

Well, since obviously the virginity thing wasn't a morality issue then my recomendation fits afterall. :wink:

[spidey]

yeah, whats up wit dat? Some of those chicks in sh*t are as fugly to be all damned, also.

I'd rather have a lifetime of love than a moment of lust.....and have it for free!

[Cozmo D]

Ya'll is absolutely watchin the wrong porn...oh wait a minnit, ya'll don't watch porn... :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Cozmo D]

I'd rather have a lifetime of love than a moment of lust.....and have it for free!

Again, I am FAR from an authority on this subject, but I think that you are suffering at least from confusion and at most from delusion.

Lust is a completely natural emotion...contrary to what many "Christians" would have you believe...it is NOT a sin. EVERYBODY would rather have a lifetime of love than just about ANYTHING else (Paradise anybody?), but even if you could find such a state of Nirvana, without lust it would be COMPLETELY passionless.

I lust after my wife, she lusts after me. Without our love that lust would be in vain...though I have known more than a few couples where lust was all they had...but without our lust we would be little more than the best friends and parental partners that we are, which would leave our love, and our marriage, wanting.

To paraphrase FrEk, probably the hardest way to find love is to look for it, cause when you are looking you tend to see it where it aint. That's why my advice is always to go out and have some fun. The fun can help the heart to heal from the pain of love lost, and alleviate the build-up of lust all at once.

Oh, and I would suggest that you listen to advice on "getting on with your life" from women with the knowledge that they are quite different from you on both a chemical and mental nature. They are much better at turning things like lust, passion, and longing off than we are...so simple little diversions like taking time for themselves...long walks in the woods...needlepoint...fingerpainting...works much easier for them. They are more emotional creatures while we are more physical, therefore whereas they have to get over the mental and emotional aspects, we have that PLUS all the physical stuff (memories of looks, sounds, smell, taste, FEEL, ya know, the hot and sticky thangs) to squealch. The fact that she was your 1st just intensifies all that.

I would advise some much more INTENSE diversions..like debauchary...or war. :wink:

[Chief]

*wakes up...lifts his head from the table...wipes the drool off of his mouth and states "Somebody say porn?"*

[Mistress M]

Yeah but Coz, just cause spidey's a guy doesn't mean you can just shove him into a little categorical box -- since you're a guy u must run around a sleep with 50 different women to get over your ex because that's what guys need to do? :umm:

I get what spidey is saying -- he's not against lust, but against lust for it's own sake. Essentially, he enjoys lust when it is an extension of love, but not just "Hey I don't even know your name, but let's go out back by the dumpsters and fuck, and then I can zip up my pants and go on my merry way!" For some people this is just not an option -- the lack of connection causes the person to feel guilty. Some people just don't want to use others for sex (even if the using is mutual), because it makes them feel cheap, and it makes sex feel cheap. And it's not just chicks who think that way -- there are plenty of men who do as well. And for many women a man with this attitude is actually more attractive -- personally, I would never date a player, because his cavalier attitude towards sex signifies a lack of respect towards women and towards sex itself, and I'm not into men who think sex is just a biological function to get off...but that's just me, and we're not talking about me right now, we're talking about spidey. Frankly, spidey doesn't sound like a player, and that's cool...so let's not pressure him into becoming one, instead let's try to find some other way to help out...

And just "long walks in the woods" isn't what I was talking about -- women are physical beings too (at least I am) and for me it was intensive rock climbing and hiking up mountains -- I needed to spend a few weeks physically exhausting my body to the point where I COULDN'T think about anything -- including my ex. When you're free-climbing, you're too busy thinking about not falling to your death to worry about your ex, and by the time you get to the top and hike back down you're just too damn tired to think about your ex. That's what helped me -- demanding physical activity. It's worth a try.

[Chief]

tee hee....they said porn...

[Cozmo D]

I think if you have read Brandon's posts over the past couple of years you might have a little more insight into what he's going through...instead of reading
I'd rather have a lifetime of love than a moment of lust.....and have it for free! and interpreting it as
he's not against lust, but against lust for it's own sake. Essentially, he enjoys lust when it is an extension of love, but not just "Hey I don't even know your name, but let's go out back by the dumpsters and fu*k, and then I can zip up my pants and go on my merry way!".

I in no means meant that he should go out and be a "playa", I meant exactly what I said, he should go out and have some fun. The only reason I gave this advice is because I HAVE read his posts...I intentionally held back until I was sure whether his virginity was a morality issue or not.

Oh...and I wasn't really referring to what you were talking about ..though I admit the hiking part may have helped plant the woods imagery...I was responding to Lisa's "new focus" advice and presenting generalizations...you couldn't pay me to rock climb! :rock: :rofl:

In actuallity, what I said was in complete agreement with what you said that you usually do...so let's not LOOK for a fight here...whadaya say? :wave:


Woops!!! EDITED...I used the wrong quote for Brandon...my bag!

[Cozmo D]

Hey Brandon, how old are you now?

[Hero1]

coz lucky you are married because you and mistress m sound like the perfect couple...

and spidey how much porn have you watched b4 anyway?

[Cozmo D]

coz lucky you are married because you and mistress m sound like the perfect couple...

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[spidey]

I'm answering two questions here...

1. I'm 23

2. More than I care too

[Mistress M]

coz lucky you are married because you and mistress m sound like the perfect couple...

Yeah it'd be a whole lotta

until finally someone just
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Sorry Coz, that's a my bad, I assumed when you were encouraging him to have lots of "fun" you were trying to turn him into a !

[Cozmo D]

2. More than I care too

Hahahah...Spidey's got "Chief Too" syndrome! :rofl:

Nah Mz. M, I'm with you, I hate playas and ALL liars. :wink:

[spidey]

I apperciate all your help, people....I just wish it would stop hurting.....I hate having these bitter feelings about her...but what can I do? :donno:

[Mistress M]

Voodoo :naughty:

Yeah that's right, you heard me...voodoo --
make a doll, shove some pins in it...

That's all I got left kid...

[atma]

i'll tell you what, i had a relationship with a girl that ended around 98. she was really, really cruel and i dont think damage from relationships necessarily ever completely heals, at least in some cases. i mean, i know my parents divorce caused serious and likely permanent emotional damage to me, and that was when i was 4. so you just have to live / deal with it. c'est la vie...

[spidey]

I just wanted to let you know that I am doing much better. It's been six months since she left me, and I'm finally starting to put the pieces back together. I'm going to go back to school and study radio broadcasting. Maybe someday I'll find the right woman for me.



Thanx again for all your love and support

[frEk]

good for spidey :thumup:

[Mistress M]

Good for you spidey! keep positive, and you'll meet the woman of your dreams someday...and going back to school is the best step towards a positive future... :thumup:

[carlessman]

reading this for the first time. to me, spidey, you should be more accepting of the pain. pain is a big part of a life that is worth living. it can't always be up for it to be a good life. the down is just as much important and worth living as the up. it's hard to understand, but you put yourself into a position to feel the up of love and you should be willing to feel the down of love. sucks, huh. that's how we live and learn and trust and love. all come with joy, wonderful joy, and pain, horrible pain. i know friends and family that try to ignore the pain and it just makes it last longer and have a worse affect on them.